Given the number of times it gets mentioned, what about a badger?
This one was a) drunk and b) in the Fatherland, so fits ARRSE well.
BERLIN | Thu Jul 9, 2009 6:53pm ED
A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said on Wednesday.
A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road -- only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.
Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhoea.
Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.