Arse scanning - the new fingerprint?

My err, friend, once showed me a strange video on his phone about Japanese girls who were scanning their arrseholes to check in at an air port. Now, I've never been to Japan and they are a rather odd people so who am I to judge? Perhaps that's their version of Easy Jet?

Anyway, it seems this bum scanning has taken off and now there's a move to have bogs scan your ricker. They say it's for health reasons, but how long until Amazon and the gov get hold of the data and can positively ID you?

"An article this month in the Wall Street Journal reported that the researchers have partnered with Izen, a Korean toilet manufacturer, and hope to have prototypes by the end of the year. In order to differentiate between users, Izen developed a scanner that can recognise the physical characteristics of whoever is sitting on the toilet – or, in the words of the researchers, “the distinctive features of their anoderm” (the skin of the **** canal). Apparently, your “analprint”, like your fingerprints, is unique.
Vik Kashyap says we are ready for it (well, perhaps not scanners – in Stanford’s study of user acceptance, “the least favoured module is analprint”). "

 
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endure

GCM
The Japanese are major toilet fiends.

If you go up to the top floor in the Maya Mall in Chiang Mai (Thailand) you'll find a set of bogs with Japanese crappers.

They have a control panel on the side that allows them to do all sorts of rather pleasant things with warm water.

A friend told me that he sat on one for a good 30 minutes one day...

Best-Japanese-Toilets-830x450.jpg
 
I don’t think it will work, this site is full of arseholés and they’re all anonymous.

Police line ups could be interesting though “bend over, nurse jarrod is going to take………..”.
 
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RABC

LE
If you suffer from the old Johny Giles, Victoria Plumbing does a good toilet with bidet for £499. No hoop recognition though.
 
I just think it has the potential for awkwardness if I need to turn my iphone on in a public place that's all.
Also, what about dingleberries and clagnuts? Will they hinder results? (Asking for a friend)
 
My err, friend, once showed me a strange video on his phone about Japanese girls who were scanning their arrseholes to check in at an air port. Now, I've never been to Japan and they are a rather odd people so who am I to judge? Perhaps that's their version of Easy Jet?

Anyway, it seems this bum scanning has taken off and now there's a move to have bogs scan your ricker. They say it's for health reasons, but how long until Amazon and the gov get hold of the data and can positively ID you?

"An article this month in the Wall Street Journal reported that the researchers have partnered with Izen, a Korean toilet manufacturer, and hope to have prototypes by the end of the year. In order to differentiate between users, Izen developed a scanner that can recognise the physical characteristics of whoever is sitting on the toilet – or, in the words of the researchers, “the distinctive features of their anoderm” (the skin of the **** canal). Apparently, your “analprint”, like your fingerprints, is unique.
Vik Kashyap says we are ready for it (well, perhaps not scanners – in Stanford’s study of user acceptance, “the least favoured module is analprint”). "

These Nip bints, not wearing any panties are they? Asking for a friend.

Also, the accuracy of the scan surely will depend upon the state of one's Chalfont's and also how well one has, well I can't really put this delicately, wiped the shite off from the last dump.
 
If I needed frequent shots of my chocolate starfish I suppose I could go with one of those uitilikilts, should provide easy access without having to drop my trousers at the checkout.
Which apparently isn't "acceptable" to do nowadays. Political correctness gone mad I tell you.
 
These Nip bints, not wearing any panties are they? Asking for a friend.

Also, the accuracy of the scan surely will depend upon the state of one's Chalfont's and also how well one has, well I can't really put this delicately, wiped the shite off from the last dump.
I rather suspect there will be infra-red, ultra-violet and sub-microwave scanning to , erm, 'plug through the mud'
 
I rather suspect there will be infra-red, ultra-violet and sub-microwave scanning to , erm, 'plug through the mud'
MIcrowaving your arse? That'd be shit hot then presumably? Strange strange people the Japs.
 
The Japanese are major toilet fiends.

If you go up to the top floor in the Maya Mall in Chiang Mai (Thailand) you'll find a set of bogs with Japanese crappers.

They have a control panel on the side that allows them to do all sorts of rather pleasant things with warm water.

A friend told me that he sat on one for a good 30 minutes one day...

View attachment 606156
I used to have one in my apartment in Tokyo. 2 years I was there and never dared to try all of the buttons.
 

Clunker

Old-Salt
So an aged joke about a wife getting confused between Retinal and Rectal for scanning gets washed around the world 10 times and becomes the latest tinfoil hat outrage.

Nothing to see here (Japanese Sensor too much) move on.
 
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