Arrsing around on the train

#1
Great story

Arrsing on the train

Basically a German student got ejected from a train for smoking and not having a ticket. He then proceeded to air his discontent by sticking his bare backside against the window of the train. Unfortunately for him he did exactly that, "stuck" his backside to the window. The train then dragged him for 200 metres before depositing him in the gap between the train and the platform. He ended up in hospital with severe grazing and bruising and is awaiting charges for dangerous interference with rail traffic.
 

BrunoNoMedals

LE
Kit Reviewer
#3
How did his arrse stick to the train? Did he have a ring diameter in the tens of centimeters that acted like a suction cup when pressed on the window? It would be a suitable explanation, because as the train moved off the involuntary panic-induced tighting of the sphincter would have made the seal that much stronger.
 
#4
BrunoNoMedals said:
How did his arrse stick to the train? Did he have a ring diameter in the tens of centimeters that acted like a suction cup when pressed on the window? It would be a suitable explanation, because as the train moved off the involuntary panic-induced tighting of the sphincter would have made the seal that much stronger.
You've studied this haven't you?
 
#5
BrunoNoMedals said:
How did his arrse stick to the train? Did he have a ring diameter in the tens of centimeters that acted like a suction cup when pressed on the window? It would be a suitable explanation, because as the train moved off the involuntary panic-induced tighting of the sphincter would have made the seal that much stronger.
Are you suggesting his hoop acted like a plunger? Jesus, he's lucky his innards didn't fall out.
 

BrunoNoMedals

LE
Kit Reviewer
#6
That's exactly the theory I'm presenting. Whether or not it's the truth, however, I couldn't say.

Can you think of any other way you'd stick to a train when mooning it?
 
#7
Possibly he had superglue on his cheeks, but it leaves the unanswered question as to how he managed to get his kecks off. Also he must have had to jump a bit, while running backwards, to reach the window, especially as foreign railway platforms tend to be quite low.

Must be some sort of ninja type.
 
#8
BrunoNoMedals said:
That's exactly the theory I'm presenting. Whether or not it's the truth, however, I couldn't say.

Can you think of any other way you'd stick to a train when mooning it?
Perhaps his arrse was warm and the window was cold and it stuck like your hand sticking to the cold bits when de-icing the car.

Or maybe it just managed to klingon.

Either way I bet he wishes he hadn't cracked the window now.
 
#9
Hobo-Ken said:
Possibly he had superglue on his cheeks, but it leaves the unanswered question as to how he managed to get his kecks off. Also he must have had to jump a bit, while running backwards, to reach the window, especially as foreign railway platforms tend to be quite low.

Must be some sort of ninja type.
He's just what I need, I could stick him to the windscreen and he can hold my Tom Tom for me.
 
#10
once_a_maverick said:
BrunoNoMedals said:
That's exactly the theory I'm presenting. Whether or not it's the truth, however, I couldn't say.

Can you think of any other way you'd stick to a train when mooning it?
Perhaps his arrse was warm and the window was cold and it stuck like your hand sticking to the cold bits when de-icing the car.

Or maybe it just managed to klingon.

Either way I bet he wishes he hadn't cracked the window now.
Perhaps he was bumming a lift?
 
#12
once_a_maverick said:
Great story

Arrsing on the train

Basically a German student got ejected from a train for smoking and not having a ticket. He then proceeded to air his discontent by sticking his bare backside against the window of the train. Unfortunately for him he did exactly that, "stuck" his backside to the window. The train then dragged him for 200 metres before depositing him in the gap between the train and the platform. He ended up in hospital with severe grazing and bruising and is awaiting charges for dangerous interference with rail traffic.
Maybe he was an arschloch!



Taxi!
 
#13
once_a_maverick said:
Perhaps his arrse was warm and the window was cold and it stuck like your hand sticking to the cold bits when de-icing the car.
A thoroughly plausible idea, especially in Germany at this time of year. He wouldn't have even had to jump for the window, since he'd have been even more likely to stick to the cold metal of the bodywork.




Loving MT's new idea for a TomTom holder, though - you should patent that! They can do all the fiddly "programming on the move" rubbish for you as well, and use them as a hands-free kit for your phone.
 
#14
Maybe he should have bought [to quote the old Tunes advert] a ... 'First Ass redurn doo Notungum pleeyz'


















... [zips up coat, turns up collar, puts on hat and fcuks off out the door]
 
#16
I have every sympathy with this poor chap, due to being in a similar situation.

I have an artificial knee, and the other one is pretty much knackered by arthritis, so getting out of the bath was problematic. To solve this I turn over on to my front and get out by kneeling and then standing up.
First time I tried this I turned over while the bath was still full and got a mouthful of soapy water. so next time I pulled the plug before attempting to roll over.
No luck as my arse cheeks had spread on the bath surface and were acting like two large suction cups, and I had to let in more water to release myself.

So from experience I can say that two times arse cheeks equals a great deal of sticking power! :x
 
#17
harry7134 said:
I have every sympathy with this poor chap, due to being in a similar situation.

I have an artificial knee, and the other one is pretty much knackered by arthritis, so getting out of the bath was problematic. To solve this I turn over on to my front and get out by kneeling and then standing up.
First time I tried this I turned over while the bath was still full and got a mouthful of soapy water. so next time I pulled the plug before attempting to roll over.
No luck as my arse cheeks had spread on the bath surface and were acting like two large suction cups, and I had to let in more water to release myself.

So from experience I can say that two times arse cheeks equals a great deal of sticking power! :x
Think I could have quite happily lived the rest of my days without that image in my head thanks Harry! :D
 
#18
Markintime said:
Hobo-Ken said:
Possibly he had superglue on his cheeks, but it leaves the unanswered question as to how he managed to get his kecks off. Also he must have had to jump a bit, while running backwards, to reach the window, especially as foreign railway platforms tend to be quite low.

Must be some sort of ninja type.
He's just what I need, I could stick him to the windscreen and he can hold my Tom Tom for me.
Only as long as you don't mind him smoking in the car. Note that if it's a company car it's also a workplace, therefore strictly RAUCHEN VERBOTEN and you will have to throw him out or risk being in breach of the law. Then he will have to stick his bottom to a passing aeroplane, thereby completing a bizarre "Trains, Planes and Automobiles" trilogy.

He'll have some great stories to tell his grandchildren though.
 

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