ARRSEWater

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by LordVonHarley, Oct 9, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Mercenary Forces are big at the moment in sandy places and have the backing of the US Government. Is it time for ARRSE Ltd to get on the band wagon and start making some serious cash?
    Now the Middle East is awash with mercenary suppliers so the chance of getting an easy gig over there is slim plus the commuting costs would be very high. Does a Zone 1-6 travel card go as far as Iraqistan?
    The Middle East is out, but how about the South of France? Loads of Expats need protecting from fundamentalist Frogs.
    Or
    How about a Private Force to hire out to the local Mayor or Council?

    ArrseWater would of course be operating under the same RoE as if they where a respectable private military contract serving provider. So if the Local Plod in Wiltshire needs some "extra" support they could hire ARRSEWater to clean up the odd sink estate or two.

    ArrseWater Employee: You're under arrest for drug dealing!
    Drug Dealer: Feck you!!!
    {BANG!}
    A.W.E - Sorry gu'v. I had to shoot him he was acting aggressive and I feared for my life.

    Jobs a good'un, no costly trials or having to pay for police training and pensions. The Super Intendant can put his hands up and say it has nothing to do with the police as it was a "Private Contract".

    So how about it,
    ARRSEWATER!
    POLICING ON THE CHEAP WITH A FIST OF IRON AND NO LIABILITY!!!!!!

    Go on, you know you want to!
     
  2. Can we wear khaki vests and choose from an attractive range of sunglasses?

    Can we patrol in a Chevvy Suburban with a ten speaker sound system?

    Can we prop our AKs up agin' the bar while we have our beer?
     
  3. LVH

    Glad to help, only if we can use Close Air Support on Chavs...... 8)
     
  4. Be a bloody hive of Walts.

    How do you propose to prevent walts from joining? What criteria will you use on applicants?
     
  5. Oh to see the look on the first Chav´s face that tries to overtake a convoy :twisted: One chavmobile well and truely wasted 8)
     
  6. could I be employed in an administrative role? Tea boy perhaps? If so, would I still be allowed the khakis and sunglasses?
     
  7. I'm only joining if we can wear the following uniform.

    [​IMG]

    One must have standards.
     
  8. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    recite service number, rank and unit. Should weed a few out, but then, they are always good to use as cannon fodder or sacrificial lambs when something goe wrong. As it will.
     
  9. Due to cash flow problems you will have to supply your own uniform however you WILL get massive SUV's with ARRSEWater splashed all over it for easy recognition.

    You will be allowed to take your personal weapons into the company bar and enjoy our own brand of beer. . . . ARRSEWater Larger, ARRSEWater Brown Ale and ARRSEWater Bud.
     
  10. ARRSEWater Bud ? Get a grip LVH and introduce ARRSEWater Becks instead.
     
  11. Let them choose their own colour of beret?
     
  12. Becks is a refreshing beverage where as Bud is arrse water.
     
  13. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Walts in ARRSEWater or not, at least all the members like guns, hate chavs and would love to shoot them down in the street. What other qualifications does one need?
     
  14. Ah yes i can see it now the sandy beret 'ARRSEWalter' close assault precision underwater knitting padre platoon.
     
  15. Walts and Airsofters will be employed in the PCSO Coy. They will get to mince about in uniform but with out a firearm or the authority to commit State sanctioned murder.