ARRSERS Can Do Better

#1
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

I'm sure that among the confraternity of ARRSE there are better words, particularly with reference to military operations, politics and things to do with sex, love and bodily fluids...
 
#3
Chavalry - the vanguard of the English working class, often clad in Burberry but with a bare, tattooed midriff.

Seamen - usually found discharged in navel bases ... (yes, I know it's an old one, but at least I'm showing willing).

Acliteration - fabulously fearsome feminism.

Iranium - a dangerously fissile material.
 
#7
Eurape - The act of fucking a country up the arrse from the other side of the Channel in Brussels

Catholiscism - The current split in the Catholic Church... On one side: the Catholic Laity, supporting the fondling of minors. On the other side: Oh wait... They're all doing it.
 

udipur

LE
Book Reviewer
#8
Secretardy - work ethic of modern PA's

Epail - folder where all those unwanted junk messages should go

Pole tax - levy on adult dancers