ARRSERS Can Do Better

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Sep 23, 2010.

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  1. The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

    Here are the winners:

    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

    2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

    3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

    4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

    7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

    9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

    11. Karmageddon: its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

    12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

    13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

    14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

    15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

    16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

    I'm sure that among the confraternity of ARRSE there are better words, particularly with reference to military operations, politics and things to do with sex, love and bodily fluids...
  2. Just a new definition:

    Typhoon - A storm in a teacup.
  3. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    Chavalry - the vanguard of the English working class, often clad in Burberry but with a bare, tattooed midriff.

    Seamen - usually found discharged in navel bases ... (yes, I know it's an old one, but at least I'm showing willing).

    Acliteration - fabulously fearsome feminism.

    Iranium - a dangerously fissile material.
  4. Hurtling off at a tangent, but 'She was only an Admiral's daughter but her navel base was full of seaman (sic)'
  5. Sexcrement... The act of shitting on one's sexual partner for pleasure... Popular in Germany, I hear.
  6. Cunstable. Dibble with emotional 'issues'
  7. Eurape - The act of fucking a country up the arrse from the other side of the Channel in Brussels

    Catholiscism - The current split in the Catholic Church... On one side: the Catholic Laity, supporting the fondling of minors. On the other side: Oh wait... They're all doing it.
  8. udipur

    udipur LE Book Reviewer

    Secretardy - work ethic of modern PA's

    Epail - folder where all those unwanted junk messages should go

    Pole tax - levy on adult dancers
  9. Bargoyle - What I would usually wake up next to after a night on the piss in Paderborn
  10. diaryhoea. Logging your movements.

  11. Paroletariat. An argument for bigger prisons.
  12. Dicktaphone - used for calling gay chatlines
  13. Swank. Posh masturbation.

    Count. Posh cunt.
  14. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    Fauxiliary - a so-called assistant who is actually working for the other side.
  15. terroratthepicnic

    terroratthepicnic LE Reviewer Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Runners

    Efail - The act of sending the completly wrong email to the completly wrong person, which will only end in misery.