ARRSEmaidens - If you were a clamjouster...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by stoatman, Dec 13, 2005.

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  1. ...which female lovelies would you joust with?

    Don't be shy, maidens - surveys* say that 99% of women are inherently bisexual, the other 1% being too young to worry about that sort of thing and are too busy showing their knickers to little boys and men who give them sweeties in the playground (Like LJH, only straight ;)). And that women who say they're not are just in denial and haven't drunk enough Bacardi Breezers and/or other girly beverages.

    Personally, if I were a lesbian, I'd like to slip my tongue into Audrey Tatou, of Amelie fame, to zee if ze French girls really do taste faintly of garlic and not sweat, piss, snails, and 9V batteries. Hell, I'd slip various parts of my body into her anyway..

    *surveys of me, my mate Dave, and the lads down the pub. Oh, and I asked Cuts and MDN too.
  2. Sharon Stone...... That is if i had any inherent Lesbian tendancies, Don't know,
    I'll have to look. It will give me something to do this weekend...
  3. Angelina Jolie although admittedly at the moment she is looking a tad scraggy!
    Still..wouldnt say no
  4. Angelina Jolie... For her I would turn into her personal lesbian sex slave, of course Brad can come too :lol:
  5. great minds think alike n all :D
  6. If I had to jump the fence for anyone, it would be Beyonce.

    Although I'm not sure if it's because I find her sexy, or if I just want to get her makeup tips. :?
  7. Has to be Angelina Jolie, by the far the sexiest woman on the planet. followed in close second by kiera Knightley.
  8. Ooooh Surranne Jones (ex corrie burd)

    of course babyblue, Liz the nurse and Minxy

    ermmm i dont really fancy Angelina im afraid.

    Melanie Sykes

    Davina Mcall

    hmmm Kerry Katona and her breasticles

    Thats it for now
  9. Stoatie

    For goodness sake man, get your priorities in order, stop getting distracted by women and tell me when I can fire your SLR....

    Please? :wink:
  10. Very pro-hetro here but if I had a gun in my back - Jilly Johnson. Quite a bit older than myself (no changes there) but better than the botox-shite pumped silicone-enhanced fake-haired empty-headed bints that populate the entertainment world. Or Halle Berry. :)
  11. Mmmmmmmm...9v battery on the tongue....

    Whups, sorry, wrong sex, wrong everything. Excusable if you're a lesbian in a man's body though...
  12. Dozybint.

    If I was that way inclined.
  13. ... prefers smallish blondes.

    hmmmmmm. A young Debbie Harry would have got it. Probably. I dunno - I don't bat for that side - although I do appreciate beauty.
  14. Emily Howard :lol:
  15. But the moustache! It'd be like velcro!