ARRSE vs Porn

#1
I hope this tale of baffled incomprehension strikes a chord with other regular ARRSErs of either gender.

Mrs C came back from work (Army as well) the other day to find me already tucked up behind the pooter and 'ARRSing'. I could hear her hackles rising in the kitchen - I know because she hurls her daysack against the fridge when annoyed.

Anyway, she (very noisily) bustled around in the kitchen for a bit more, the tutting getting louder by the minute, until she deigned to put in an appearance in my airspace - small talk about working days and crap bosses ensued.

However, being a bird, she couldn't prevent herself from rushing into a protracted 'discussion' about 'that bloody website' - I say 'discussion' when I actually mean 'one way screaming fit'.

My instant throwback was 'Well, at least it's not porn'. At the time this seemed a reasonable response under pressure, but she then hurled back 'I'd rather it was porn. You and your mates on that site are all so bloody dull and boring - the Army's shit as it is without pretending it isn't'.

I saw which way the wind was blowing (straight towards No Nookie Land) so I logged off and wandered casually into the lounge for a swift PR exercise.

It seems that she feels there is something inordinately unhealthy about ARRSE - so unhealthy in fact that she'd prefer it if I sat in front of grumble sites whacking off all night.

So, it is just the long haired CO at my location, or does anyone else experience hugely disproportionate amounts of aggro because of their dedication to this fine site? :D
 
#4
My fella doesn't know I come on here, if he did he'd kick my arse.

In fact only today I forgot to meet him for 'lunch', (which is his code for going home for what everyone else calls a screw) and his precise response was

"Moody you missed 'lunch', report to my office with your pants off right now"

I explained that I couldn't cos its a full time job looking busy in this office doing feck all, but he wouldn't listen.

Apparently when I get home I am getting what for right up my arse 8O

So you can Image what I'd get if I said I missed 'lunch' because I was sat on here!

Its much better for me and my arse for him not to know
 
#5
"At least it's not porn" I used that one too. Then Mrs Forn was on the computer later that night and up pops a bird on screen W@nking some bloke off with her bumcheeks. Seem in my p1ssed state I'd forgot to de bug the computer befor i passed it on too her. Needless to say I was as popular as thrush that night!! :lol:
 
#6
Has she got the painters in or is this type of vitriol a regular thing? The difference between women on the blob and terrorists is that you can negotiate with terrorists

My old house mates used to play an hilarious gag on me :roll: as I used to regularly fall asleep in front of the PC in the evening and they would ensure they reset my home page to some truly horrific grumble site. So if a visitor or the other half(s) tried to use the PC would greeted by Bridget the Midget or Donkey sex etc etc Needless to say I got the reputation of House pest :lol: :lol:
 
#7
Don't have much truck with porn, but this site is very addictive, so much so that I had to give someone my ADSL filter on Monday just so I could get some work done this week.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#8
sandy_boots said:
If you're whacking off to ARRSE then I think she's being quite fair.
If you are whacking off to ARRSE, you're missus must be a pig.
 
#9
Calypso said:
So, it is just the long haired CO at my location, or does anyone else experience hugely disproportionate amounts of aggro because of their dedication to this fine site? :D
Mrs mooch is never happy, she needs the pc for work but im always here chuckling at the thought of a naked mrs flintstone!!

she just does'nt get it!!
 
#12
Here is something for you to look at:
 

Attachments

#13
Its like porn on arrse, this could be the best combo since bread and butter!!
 
#14
Mrs. Zofo says that as long as I have fun and laugh, stop being a miserable cnut and keep vaguely in touch with what I used to do she's happy. Unless of course she wants to chat to all her girlie mates on MSN or suchlike, then it's "Get off that bloody Arrse NOW". No worries here!
 
#15
Calypso said:
I hope this tale of baffled incomprehension strikes a chord with other regular ARRSErs of either gender.
Probably just the pick of the day for making an issue of. If you'd have been spit shining your oxfords it'd have been your obsession perfect uniform.

You see, you should have been waiting in the kitchen when she came through the door, probably looking like you were 'helping' with something to tidy up.
(not that Arrsing wasn't more productive)
There are times you just have to grin and bear it. :evil:

Calypso said:
.................. find me already tucked up behind the pooter and 'ARRSing'. ................................
That could come out of decoding a number of ways..... 8O
 
#16
:) :eek: :wink: :evil: :x :p get a life you boring old cow bull. if you want a robot why did you get married buy the way this is not ducati96 this is a new person someone that did get married and not anymore and its top banana
 
#17
What you need to do is sack up with one of the old boots that logs on to arrse then you are home free. Your best bet is to go on a arrse pi*s up and ping which of them is most pi*sed and desperate this may take some time then ply her with cheap booze and hey presto unlimited Arrse time with out interruption from the long haired CO
 
#18
Oh Oh GG. Check six.
 
#20
Although I am the long hair, but not the CO, I never complain about time spent on ARRSE for two reasons:

1. Mr miz invariably finds the peefunniest threads I have somehow missed when I have been Arrsing.

2. I probably spend too much time on here myself so it would be monumentally hypocritical to complain about him being on here.

Out of the two choices ARRSE no doubt has less popups and potential nasties than porn sites. ARRSE is also much more entertaining than porn. It is a pity more assorted wifely creatures cannot enjoy a warm inner glow gained from knowing their better half is spending time doing something as harmless and enjoyable as posting on here. Instead they feel the need to squeeze every last drop of joy out of life by whinging.
 
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