Arrse Valentines

#1
Roses are red, violets are blue but which Arrse maiden (or indeed arrser) suits you?

It is that day when greeting card and present manufacturers draw a deep romantic sigh before counting the cash. To save on expenditure and allow for last minute "Ooops" factors, Cuddles Enterprises is glad to offer this opportunity for you to post a belated Arrse Valentine to whoever you wish...

I'll send mine to Dozy; any girl who likes shooting, rugby and being drunk is okay by me! Happy Valentine DB!
 
#4
:hungry: To MDN ..

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
The average is 6 inchs,
Yours is two.

First comes love,
Then comes marriage,
Then comes dangling yourself from the ceiling via your undercarriage
 
#5
Any Arrse Maidens with a big mouth who are feeling generous:

Roses are Red, Violets are Redder, get down on your knees and give me a Header! :heart:

Now that's romance............... :D
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got 8 inches
And your going to take all of it up the hoop bitch!!

I need to work on the rhyming bit.
 
#8
B_AND_T said:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got 8 inches
And your going to take all of it up the hoop bitch!!

I need to work on the rhyming bit.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got 8 inches
And you better not need a poo?

:twisted:
 
#9
B_AND_T said:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got 8 inches
And your going to take all of it up the hoop bitch!!

I need to work on the rhyming bit.
Rhyming doesn't really matter in Aldershot, with those last two lines they'll be queing at your door!
 
#10
Ill send two cos im greedy:

Ko_Neko for services to the troops and she aint a bad looker.

and Moodybitch for not being too bad a looker and for being a dirty bird.
 
#12
Postie, Postie, do not tarry
Take this Obergruppenfuhrer's uniform to the one who likes to dress up as Harry.
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
It's very long
It's very thick
Now get your lips
Around my dick
 
#14
My tresses ain't red,
My chebs too small too,
But my Valentines wishes
Cuddles I send them to you!


(because your knowledge of history impresses me no end........)
 
#15
For Scuba

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Scoobs wears rubber,
So it`s safe sex for you!

(Or no sex if the bets still on)
 
#17
And another springs to mind

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue, (Surley this is wrong as Violet is much closer to Purple)
I`ve seen Brites bum,
And it`s very nice too!
 
#19
Shamelessly nicked from elsewhere.....

Roses are red,
I stand here in awe,
I'm much keener on you,
Than the thought of sharia law


Roses are red,
Daffodils are flutey
My love for you grows
In line with fuel duty
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#20
k13eod said:
If it's good,
It gets a rose,
But it puts the cream on,
Or it gets the hose.
Thought you would have used a different one, K13:


You know I'd give you everything
My car and all my loot
Thanks for all your care and love
Where the fcuks my foot?
 
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