Recent ARRSE threads have clearly left the gentlemen of the RAF Regiment feeling a bit unloved. One of them has suggested the following criteria for the ideal Arrser (much of which I confess I would propose as the basics for the ideal anything - rich, successful, hating politicians, don't read the Daily Mail etc): On that site, for every 1 decent bloke, there is 9 dickheads. To be a fully fledged member of the gang you must minimally... Be able to report directly a bloke in a pub who said he's been in the Army, and god forbid, on an op. The same applies to anyone who dares to wear an unearned medal. It is also helpful to be able to point out that medals have not been mounted to the correct specifications of height etc. Read the Telegraph, or Torygraph as they refer to it. Never under any circumstances, read the Daily Mail unless its for research purposes to report back to the site. Never under any circumstances read any other red top newspaper, reading The Sun is a guarantee to lose any shred of respect you may have mustered. You must... Own your house. Own a garden shed. If you own 2 sheds, your kudos will rocket. Own a flash car. Own and run a successful business and employ plenty of staff. You must not shop anywhere except for Marks and Spencer and Waitrose. Admitting that you shop at Tesco's will induce fits of rage. You must hate anyone who is unemployed. The same for anyone who lives in a council or social housing home. You must also hate fat people with a vengeance. You should also look very firmly down your nose at anyone who is employed in a manual job, such as street cleaners etc. This applies to coppers and firemen. You should eat a healthy diet with plenty of excercise so you are fit and healthy, any fat, however miniscule is a big no-no. You must be able to sufficiently disguise your jealousy of anyone who has been or is a serving member of the RAF by saying nasty things about them. This is the same for any other branch of the Armed Forces, with the exception of the Army. Also hate students and the Prime Minister, regardless of who the Prime Minister is at the time. Not forgetting of course, that you must be able to display your anger at another site member by threatening to find the site member and give his nose a good biffing, If you can't find the offender, then you must be able to display your anger by typing nasty names and such as, at the offender. You must be outraged to the point of a coronary when people don't give soldiers the respect that arrsers demand, irrespective of whether they have earned it or not. If you are all of the above, then you will be a perfect arrser. Have we been captured in amber or is this just bitter and twisted ranting? In a spirit of reciprocal generosity, what makes the ideal Rockape, particularly with reference to what is considered wrong in the above list? The full dripping horror can be seen at RockNet, the Headquarters of the RAF Regiment Network • View topic - Arrse? - a word of warning, much of the thread consists of Sunday football types, probably called Kevin, uttering inspirational phrases such as 'don't give them the satisfaction'.