Arrse, the Movie

A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#1
"Arrse Entertainment Ltd, in association with Clunge Celluloids Inc, proudly present "Unsocial Networking", the amazing story of how 2 unemployed Ex RAOC Ruperts* armed with nothing more than a Sinclair ZX1, and the Will to have more than one friend in life. What began in their cupboard-under-the-stairs was to become one of the largest Anti-social networks in world wide web history, and a revolution in argumentative communication. Seven (?) years later, and with over 50,000 new like-minded "Friends" the success leads to them being able to shop at Lidl, but also brings forth many complications, like legal threats from prying envious eyes, or exposed Walts.

We have the Website, the T-shirts, Youtube Arrse, Xtranormal, and now the book.

If a film was to me made about the real success of Arrse, what would the story-line be for the film?, who would be the main/supporting Actors/Actresses, could we squeeze all this mayhem and bedlam into 1 hr 45 mins?

*Just joshing, Bosses
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#2
There would be no need for those posing luvvie actor johnnies, ARRSE can supply these from the Longdon Bar! :)
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
Baron von Short as Dr.Evil.

Sluggy as Pussy Galore.
 
#5
5 Alpha playing Sammy Jackson.

Take your pick of any para playing Begbi in Trainspotters..........
 
#10
Don't forget the shedii, tales of squirrel stews, bootleg booze and pikey wars, Mel Gibson playing the IRON-DUKE??
 
#11
There could only be one contender for a storyline of such epic proportions which could conceivably be used to tell the entire story of arrse; warts, walts, suicidal threads et al:


The Ballet of Flasheart and BB.
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#12
There could only be one contender for a storyline of such epic proportions which could conceivably be used to tell the entire story of arrse; warts, walts, suicidal threads et al:


The Ballet of Flasheart and BB.
Really? please do send linky
 
#13
Flash for the aerial special effects and BigBird for the more romantic bits.

More than happy to add my services as a gibbering fool.
 
#15
A quick review of the known personalities in the Arrsepedia should give you a few ideas for cast members. The cyber-fights then the eventual meeting in real life should give a bit of human interest element to it. I use for example how myself and another arrser had some right barnys on here then we eventually met via Slug at the Army v Navy rugy match. I was reminded that on here it is not real life and calmed down a bit after that.

I would say also a few well known news stories where journos start to follow the threads on here and how arrsers change the course of history ie the conquest of afghanistan, world peace, finding Lord Lucan riding Shergar ( a bit melodramatic but hey, we are talking Hollywood here so it can be elaborated a bit and the septics will eat it up).

We could also have a few drunken haze sequences ala trainspotting/human traffic/twin town where a camera follows a load of drunken arrsers on a crawl.

Not sure how you could film the philisophical debates had in chat though..

The final sequences could possilby involve Arrse's involvement during the 'Battle of Norton House' , that or the COs getting a big fat cheque or something from a huge advertising firm.

Just a few ideas for the screenplay anyway.
 
#16
I just wonder if there are any actors in Hollywood or indeed the world with an ego big enough to play any random AAC pilots
 
#17
It could be the best recruitment film ever done. I see problems with the Aldershot night bits, though.
 
#19
A prostitute you say ;-)
 

seaweed

LE
Book Reviewer
#20
As our army sets about freeing up its real estate in Krautland, in a far corner of a dilapidated barracks an overgrown shed is discovered - from within are heard strange cacklings and roars of drunken laughter .. wisps of alcohol-bearing steam issue from its roof which seem to overcome the Wingco with no wings who is leading the intrepid investigators, a squad of Rockapes who have successfully dodged bullets in SDSR, PR11, PR12 ..
 

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