ARRSE Regiment (V) Reserves

Arrse platoon attack.

1. Move up to start line and change out of big slippers for tactical grippy slippers.
2. Check equipment:
Tin of boiled sweets √
Tissues √
Flask √
Cardigan √
Attacking glasses ( wherever you left them, upstairs I think ?) √
3. Support: Tell carers the grid reference you are going to attack and what time you want your dinner.
4. Fight through but do not follow through.
5. Reorganisation: put kettle on, have a nice sit down and deal with casualties, bunnions giving jip, gout flare ups and IBS take priority.
6. Redistribute Werthers originals equally among the sections.
7. Use big button phone to signal HQ a sitrep.

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