ARRSE Reality TV

#1
Once again the TV exec's are pushing out the same old tired format of Z List celeb's roughing it in a TV studio.

I think it sucks and have fond memories of the first shipwrecked (1998/99?). 20 odd 20 somethings stuck on an island with the minimum of food (rice and canned tuna). The idea was to see how well they adapted to catching, killing, growing their own scoff.
It provided hours of entertainment of seeing the little darlings suffer, moan, steel from the film crew, get punished, nosh off the sound man for a mars bar, watch the token fat bird shed two stone.
Think fvcktardes trying to do a Ray Mears but with out the manual.

I think they where on the island for 3 months, you could almost smell the crotch rot. Then Big Brother kicked off and "reality" became manufactured.

The Scottish island one was great too.

BB is on its last legs, Jungle studio is tipped to bomb. If ARRSE could do a do a show what show ...........
 
#2
An island, Shipwrecked stylee, 50 of the usual feckwit wanabees from the great unwashed, 1 serial killer.
The public vote on who is to be the next killed. The winner gets to walk towards the boat not knowing that the boat driver is the serial killer waiting for him. Elation at winning and living turns to horror as he/she dies :twisted:
 
#3
Id be out of the cast list immediately, at the very least I am at the level of co hosting a Sky Travel type programme, preferably on Med tours with this skanky cumbucket,
 
#4
arrse the gameshow

involving one arrser and one dribbling window licker locked in a windowless room and doing dares for food.

the aim of the game is to stay alive! no matter what! and not kill the window lickers but to moistern ones cock in as many holes as you can fit into, wether man made or not with said window licker staying alive...

if the flid gets pregnant then its a release bonus

plus no tissue! so you have to wipe yourself off on the window lickers clothes

even bonus food games

eat the spaz turd and vice versa

one cup one spaz
gag the spaz
giving generously anal bonus
 
#5
Would there be a slight problem having "ARRSE" and "Reality" in the same sentence?

Would there be a problem with MDN's hamsters destroying indigenous wildlife?

OMG - I'm really worried now.
 
#6
or spaz island!!

hunt as many tards in 24hrs and beat the opponent by ending more tards than him.

hunt in any way possible

claymores
frag grenades
punji traps
spike pits
ballons and icecream bait
any gun of choice
nut crackers
pliers

well you get the idea

now that would be great and during the time the show was offair you could make money selling hunting rights to rich walts.
(no ballons for walts as this would enrage the tards to fight back and kill the walts(kinda like the wrong turn film or hills have eyes).

throw jordan in for good measure and pip yourself a gold medal for killing the queen of fcuktards

gets rid of armless dribblers and eases the state of pressure financially..
 
#7
reni_77 said:
Id be out of the cast list immediately, at the very least I am at the level of co hosting a Sky Travel type programme, preferably on Med tours with this skanky cumbucket,

Who is she and why haven't I worked with her.

Never mind 'come to bed eyes' this minx's look says 'you're barely adequte to the task but jump on board anyway and do your worst.'
 
#8
How about Chav Island ?
Gang of Chavs on one of many islands. Loads of alcopops and cheap cider. They have to perform tasks and for each one they perform correctly, they recieve a plank of wood. Eventually they can build a raft to sail through the shark infested waters to one of the other islands which has some food on it. As a surprise finale, on the way back to the finishing island, they are hijacked by Somali pirates :)
 
#9
Big ARRSE Brother


12 housemates

Slug, for the lezzer lot
Jarrod, for the hermers
Legs, for the gender fooked upped groups
Drag. for the disabled lot, sorry mate ;) (dwarfism)
YIM, for the busty groups
Kat, for the busty groups
Gremlin for the elderly (posh) groups
Me, for the elderly/like an older man groups ;)
The lord Flashheart, for the abuse
Smudge, for the abuse
Saintstone, for the obese, again sorry mate
MDN, for the shock factor


I can see a show working here.......
 
#10
How about Chav Island ?
Gang of Chavs on one of many islands. Loads of alcopops and cheap cider. They have to perform tasks and for each one they perform correctly, they recieve a plank of wood. Eventually they can build a raft to sail through the shark infested waters to one of the other islands which has some food on it. As a surprise finale, on the way back to the finishing island, they are hijacked by Somali pirates Smile

chuck in wayne rooney and jordan and its a winner
 
#11
Taffnp said:
How about Chav Island ?
Gang of Chavs on one of many islands. Loads of alcopops and cheap cider. They have to perform tasks and for each one they perform correctly, they recieve a plank of wood. Eventually they can build a raft to sail through the shark infested waters to one of the other islands which has some food on it. As a surprise finale, on the way back to the finishing island, they are hijacked by Somali pirates :)
And the winner is....!!!!

Although, how will they build a raft? Surely they'd demand one as it's their Ooman Raaahhts laahhk to be laahhk rescued n stuff :?
 
#12
billyx said:
How about Chav Island ?
Gang of Chavs on one of many islands. Loads of alcopops and cheap cider. They have to perform tasks and for each one they perform correctly, they recieve a plank of wood. Eventually they can build a raft to sail through the shark infested waters to one of the other islands which has some food on it. As a surprise finale, on the way back to the finishing island, they are hijacked by Somali pirates Smile

chuck in wayne rooney and jordan and its a winner
Too much competition for being the biggest tit surely??
 
#13
Gren said:
Big ARRSE Brother


12 housemates

Slug, for the lezzer lot
Jarrod, for the hermers
Legs, for the gender fooked upped groups
Drag. for the disabled lot, sorry mate ;) (dwarfism)
YIM, for the busty groups
Kat, for the busty groups
Gremlin for the elderly (posh) groups
Me, for the elderly/like an older man groups ;)
The lord Flashheart, for the abuse
Smudge, for the abuse
Saintstone, for the obese, again sorry mate
MDN, for the shock factor


I can see a show working here.......
Absolutely: lock you all up in a secure compound for 2 months then....

er, that's it.

Maybe we'd comeback and film the bodies.
 
#14
My idea is a pretty simple idea, doesn't take much money to make, and, judging by recent posts in here by some people would be a ratings sensation. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you "Walt Hunter". The basic premise for the game is you have a room full of people (approx 30) and the Walt Hunter is hooded so he cant see and has to be guided by his 2 fellow Walt Hunters (possibly family members) back in the studio via an earpiece. They are given half an hour to see if they can detect, and out the walt. If they succeed there would be cash prizes, if they fail they risk being shown up on TV
 
#15
The Running Man. For real. Chavs, kiddie-fiddlers, Labour MPs etc are released into a huge, fenced off urban wasteland(Liverpool?). Hunter Force tracks them down and kills them.

Back of the net! :D :headbang:
 
#16
bigeye said:
reni_77 said:
Id be out of the cast list immediately, at the very least I am at the level of co hosting a Sky Travel type programme, preferably on Med tours with this skanky cumbucket,

Who is she and why haven't I worked with her.

Never mind 'come to bed eyes' this minx's look says 'you're barely adequte to the task but jump on board anyway and do your worst.'
There is a subtle hint in the file name!
 
#17
ARSSE balcony watch?

We could have the fit one with blonde curly hair from spring watch trying not to interview walts down the pub claiming they were one of THEM and the second man who went in with their good mate Jonny Two Balconies
 
#18
Gremlin said:
bigeye said:
reni_77 said:
Id be out of the cast list immediately, at the very least I am at the level of co hosting a Sky Travel type programme, preferably on Med tours with this skanky cumbucket,

Who is she and why haven't I worked with her.

Never mind 'come to bed eyes' this minx's look says 'you're barely adequte to the task but jump on board anyway and do your worst.'
There is a subtle hint in the file name!
:oops:
 
#19
Gren said:
Big ARRSE Brother


12 housemates

Slug, for the lezzer lot
Jarrod, for the hermers
Legs, for the gender fooked upped groups
Drag. for the disabled lot, sorry mate ;) (dwarfism)
YIM, for the busty groups
Kat, for the busty groups
Gremlin for the elderly (posh) groups
Me, for the elderly/like an older man groups ;)
The lord Flashheart, for the abuse
Smudge, for the abuse
Saintstone, for the obese, again sorry mate
MDN, for the shock factor


I can see a show working here.......

:lol: ...... None of it would be allowed to be broadcast!!
 
#20
kernowpuss said:
Gren said:
Big ARRSE Brother


12 housemates

Slug, for the lezzer lot
Jarrod, for the hermers
Legs, for the gender fooked upped groups
Drag. for the disabled lot, sorry mate ;) (dwarfism)
YIM, for the busty groups
Kat, for the busty groups
Gremlin for the elderly (posh) groups
Me, for the elderly/like an older man groups ;)
The lord Flashheart, for the abuse
Smudge, for the abuse
Saintstone, for the obese, again sorry mate
MDN, for the shock factor


I can see a show working here.......

:lol: ...... None of it would be allowed to be broadcast!!
Tinterweb broadcast, by the time the PC brigade tracked down the website we'd all be on the next one.
 

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