Arrse pfa

#1
Ok you armchair warriors, it seems to me that every single enquiry made on the recruiting forums etc ends in a debacle based around the fact that the poster is asking if 1.5 in 13 minutes is good enough.
It would appear that nearly ever poster on here can still run a sub 9 minutes BFA in boots and denims regardless of the fact that they struggle to run a bath.
So my solution is this, if you want to keep posting on arrse from your piss stained wanking chariot you have to pass the Arrse PFA , but, as its arrse its not just a normal pfa, its special.
However I have a very limited imagination and as interesting as a wanking race would be I feel it rules out the ladies.

What should the arrse pfa consist of, answers on a dna soaked bar stool please.
 
#2
There are ladies on arrse? Bullshit. Piccies or... etc
 
#3
In place of the Standing Jump, you just need to be able to Jump To Conclusion ( Preferably an incorrect one that requires frantic back pedalling and an eventual withdrawal, hurt, around about half way down page 2 of the thread).
 
#4
If used (in)correctly, one blank round short of a BFT (Blunt Force Trauma).
 
#6
A test of how many units of alcohol can be drank before spelling and logic are affected.

Yes, I realise for some* this may preclude them right from the start.


*OK, "a few".

Alright, "many"!
 

Brotherton Lad

LE
Kit Reviewer
#9
I'll give it some thought. Just off for a run, got the Christmas Ball to work off, before hitting the beer.

(Saw a fox on Friday's run - not a silver one - just 50 yards ahead of me on the path)
 
#12
Wait, are we talking BFA's or PFA's here.....and how did BFA's start getting discussed when the title is PFA, and where the fuck are the BBQ'd eggs?
 
#13
The BPFA is currently being staffed through HQ RAPTC and needs some further work on gender and age-related fairness, but the fundamental strands have been identified:

Stamina - this test will involve staying on-line with a steady post rate over a 4 hour period without falling asleep.

Speed - points will be awarded for the speed at which aircraft, rifles, ammo or AFVs can be identified.

Upper body strength - unload 5 cases of Aldi Liebfraumilch from a simulated car boot and store in a larder 20 metres away.

Fireman's lift - pick up an old mucker off the floor and place him in the recovery position on a sofa. Bonus points awarded for loosening his Regtl tie and wrapping him up in his blazer.

Manual dexterity - mix a tray of brandy sours and pass the tray through a serving hatch. Any spillage means instant failure.

Mental alertness - This may be combined with manual dexterity for the combat arms. Recite the meanings of CLAP, POONA, the six 'S' and one 'M'. Give a selection of swearwords in at least 3 foreign languages.

Group acceptability - insert a SLR story into a random thread which is both tenuous and inventive.
 
#14
Your all fecking mad!
Land see to it that i get 3 weeks leave over xmas as i have done my bit this year.
End of story the rest of you are walting round like a bunch of part timers in a part time xmas panto!
Some of you need to get a grip.

Regards
Underpaid
Overworked
Offmytrolly!
 
#15
The BPFA is currently being staffed through HQ RAPTC and needs some further work on gender and age-related fairness, but the fundamental strands have been identified:

Stamina - this test will involve staying on-line with a steady post rate over a 4 hour period without falling asleep.

Speed - points will be awarded for the speed at which aircraft, rifles, ammo or AFVs can be identified.

Upper body strength - unload 5 cases of Aldi Liebfraumilch from a simulated car boot and store in a larder 20 metres away.

Fireman's lift - pick up an old mucker off the floor and place him in the recovery position on a sofa. Bonus points awarded for loosening his Regtl tie and wrapping him up in his blazer.

Manual dexterity - mix a tray of brandy sours and pass the tray through a serving hatch. Any spillage means instant failure.

Mental alertness - This may be combined with manual dexterity for the combat arms. Recite the meanings of CLAP, POONA, the six 'S' and one 'M'. Give a selection of swearwords in at least 3 foreign languages.

Group acceptability - insert a SLR story into a random thread which is both tenuous and inventive.
Wot? No CRABMEAL?
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
#16
What the fuck is a BFA?
Perhaps it's something to allow those who've had vasectomies to take part in the wanking race he proposed in his first post.
 
#19
MILF
BBW
S&M
BDSM
DATY
CIM
OWO

Now THOSE are acronyms.
 

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