Arrse pfa

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by polar69, Dec 9, 2012.

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  1. Ok you armchair warriors, it seems to me that every single enquiry made on the recruiting forums etc ends in a debacle based around the fact that the poster is asking if 1.5 in 13 minutes is good enough.
    It would appear that nearly ever poster on here can still run a sub 9 minutes BFA in boots and denims regardless of the fact that they struggle to run a bath.
    So my solution is this, if you want to keep posting on arrse from your piss stained wanking chariot you have to pass the Arrse PFA , but, as its arrse its not just a normal pfa, its special.
    However I have a very limited imagination and as interesting as a wanking race would be I feel it rules out the ladies.

    What should the arrse pfa consist of, answers on a dna soaked bar stool please.
  2. There are ladies on arrse? Bullshit. Piccies or... etc
  3. In place of the Standing Jump, you just need to be able to Jump To Conclusion ( Preferably an incorrect one that requires frantic back pedalling and an eventual withdrawal, hurt, around about half way down page 2 of the thread).
  4. If used (in)correctly, one blank round short of a BFT (Blunt Force Trauma).
  5. [​IMG]
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  6. A test of how many units of alcohol can be drank before spelling and logic are affected.

    Yes, I realise for some* this may preclude them right from the start.

    *OK, "a few".

    Alright, "many"!
  7. That's not BFA, this is a BFA!
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  8. Might just be big enough to haul the average ARRSE armchair sock-puppet!
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  9. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    I'll give it some thought. Just off for a run, got the Christmas Ball to work off, before hitting the beer.

    (Saw a fox on Friday's run - not a silver one - just 50 yards ahead of me on the path)
  10. More astute listeners will have noticed by now my slight typo.
    I meant BPFA.

    Carry on Tubby !
  11. BFT

    It's all the same(ish) stuff
  12. Wait, are we talking BFA's or PFA's here.....and how did BFA's start getting discussed when the title is PFA, and where the fuck are the BBQ'd eggs?
  13. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    The BPFA is currently being staffed through HQ RAPTC and needs some further work on gender and age-related fairness, but the fundamental strands have been identified:

    Stamina - this test will involve staying on-line with a steady post rate over a 4 hour period without falling asleep.

    Speed - points will be awarded for the speed at which aircraft, rifles, ammo or AFVs can be identified.

    Upper body strength - unload 5 cases of Aldi Liebfraumilch from a simulated car boot and store in a larder 20 metres away.

    Fireman's lift - pick up an old mucker off the floor and place him in the recovery position on a sofa. Bonus points awarded for loosening his Regtl tie and wrapping him up in his blazer.

    Manual dexterity - mix a tray of brandy sours and pass the tray through a serving hatch. Any spillage means instant failure.

    Mental alertness - This may be combined with manual dexterity for the combat arms. Recite the meanings of CLAP, POONA, the six 'S' and one 'M'. Give a selection of swearwords in at least 3 foreign languages.

    Group acceptability - insert a SLR story into a random thread which is both tenuous and inventive.
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  14. Your all fecking mad!
    Land see to it that i get 3 weeks leave over xmas as i have done my bit this year.
    End of story the rest of you are walting round like a bunch of part timers in a part time xmas panto!
    Some of you need to get a grip.

  15. Wot? No CRABMEAL?