Arrse Olympics

#1
If Arrse held the Olympic games which event would you take part in and which medal would you win?

I would win:

GOLD in the Farting Competition
SILVER in Jumping to Conclusions
Unplaced in the drinking competition but
BRONZE in the follow up Projectile Vomitting Competition
 
#2
Gold in Who can fire a shot putt furthest from their clunge! Possibly a world record too!
I'd probably get gold or silver in 'bouncing a fast running black man back down the track off my belly'!
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#3
Gold: 100 Metres Freestyle Condescension.
 
#6
Gold in "looking at any womans arse"
No silver, because I'd be behind some woman looking at her arse.
 
#7
Gold medal in drowning A_K in a barrel of his own shite
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
Possibly a bronze in Vindaloo.
 
L

lumpy2

Guest
#11
Thinking of going for the Drunkenness Triathlon.

Event 1: Laughing, and Public Displays of Affection
Event 2: Crying Incoherently
Event 3: Falling Over in an Unseemly Fashion

I've been in training these past few weeks, and am confident of bagging at least a bronze.
 
#12
I'm going to enter for the 'Patronising the Spakkers' Media Award.

I probably won't win because there are a lot of riders out there on far fitter horses than mine.

(for "horses" read "wheelchairs", natch).
 
#14
I'd get a Gold in the irritating pursuit challenge....where i drive at 30 mph in a 60 zone and then floor it when someone tries to overtake.......but i'd def get Gold in the 'Shut the door on that cunt challenge ' where i drive on the motorway fast lane and when someone comes up to undertake me in the middle lane I accelerate to box them in ...bwahahahahahaha
 
#15
LPJ sorry buddy that gold is mine I darent even tell you how little I've done these last few years lol
Also gold in fattest cunt on camp.
Gold in most sick leave but not actually disabled.
And my best achievement gold in the no inner monologue event.
 
#16
LPJ sorry buddy that gold is mine I darent even tell you how little I've done these last few years lol
Also gold in fattest cunt on camp.
Gold in most sick leave but not actually disabled.
And my best achievement gold in the no inner monologue event.
Fuck off, I've taken that one.

Your pop is where you left it by the way.
 
#17
LPJ sorry buddy that gold is mine I darent even tell you how little I've done these last few years lol
Also gold in fattest cunt on camp.
Gold in most sick leave but not actually disabled.
And my best achievement gold in the no inner monologue event.
It is because you have fucked to many fatty pointy birds up newton farm
 
#18
Snail you can bring my pop to Northallerton hospital next week where I'll be staying for an op then more sick leave ;)

I win
 
#19
I'd go in for the fornication event, but I doubt I'd come first.

If it's been sent from my HTC Sensation using Tapatalk then I'm probably pissed.
 
#20
Being as how I'm getting on a bit, bronze in the 400 litres.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
A The NAAFI Bar 59
wireless_barf The NAAFI Bar 21
growler ARRSE: Site Issues 12

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top