Arrse Olympics

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by fairy_nuff, Jun 22, 2011.

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  1. If Arrse held the Olympic games which event would you take part in and which medal would you win?

    I would win:

    GOLD in the Farting Competition
    SILVER in Jumping to Conclusions
    Unplaced in the drinking competition but
    BRONZE in the follow up Projectile Vomitting Competition
  2. Gold in Who can fire a shot putt furthest from their clunge! Possibly a world record too!
    I'd probably get gold or silver in 'bouncing a fast running black man back down the track off my belly'!
  3. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Gold: 100 Metres Freestyle Condescension.
  4. I'd win Gold for the stabbing Afghan_k with a javelin competition.
  5. Are you hoping for something in the self-awareness category :)
  6. HHH

    HHH LE

    Gold in "looking at any womans arse"
    No silver, because I'd be behind some woman looking at her arse.
  7. Gold medal in drowning A_K in a barrel of his own shite
  8. Gold medal in Motorboating.
  9. mercurydancer

    mercurydancer LE Book Reviewer

    Possibly a bronze in Vindaloo.
  10. Thinking of going for the Drunkenness Triathlon.

    Event 1: Laughing, and Public Displays of Affection
    Event 2: Crying Incoherently
    Event 3: Falling Over in an Unseemly Fashion

    I've been in training these past few weeks, and am confident of bagging at least a bronze.
  11. I'm going to enter for the 'Patronising the Spakkers' Media Award.

    I probably won't win because there are a lot of riders out there on far fitter horses than mine.

    (for "horses" read "wheelchairs", natch).
  12. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    Gold in the 'Doing absolutely fuck all' category.

    I am very, very good at it.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. I'd get a Gold in the irritating pursuit challenge....where i drive at 30 mph in a 60 zone and then floor it when someone tries to overtake.......but i'd def get Gold in the 'Shut the door on that cunt challenge ' where i drive on the motorway fast lane and when someone comes up to undertake me in the middle lane I accelerate to box them in ...bwahahahahahaha
  14. LPJ sorry buddy that gold is mine I darent even tell you how little I've done these last few years lol
    Also gold in fattest cunt on camp.
    Gold in most sick leave but not actually disabled.
    And my best achievement gold in the no inner monologue event.