ARRSE OFFICERS MESS LIFE

chimera

LE
Moderator
#1
The topics on this Board are just incredible. Half the Officer Corps is currently shagging its way though the newspapers and all you can find to talk about is webbing on PCBC or the ins and outs of AJD. Come on peeps - get a life.

Now when I was a young officer you should have seen the time when.....(cont P 134)
 
O

one_flew_over

Guest
#2
Well they are about the only topics that won't get officers on the front page of the Sun. Well excepting Captain Crumpet II who made it from JCSC some years ago!

Has anyone kept count by the way as to how many Captain Crumpets we're up to now??
 
#4
Who is this Capt c i keep hearing about and what did he do that was so amazing?
 
#8
It would be wrong for me to comment - even though it is 04.10 and I am just in from night on tiles... All I can usually say is 'oh wow.... many wonderful stories to tell grandchildren..'
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#10
Forces_Sweetheart said:
It would be wrong for me to comment - even though it is 04.10 and I am just in from night on tiles... All I can usually say is 'oh wow.... many wonderful stories to tell grandchildren..'
At your age you shouldn't be out 'til 04:10 ! What if you get p1ssed ? Last time I saw drunk grannies they were playing conkers with their colostomy bags ! Manky old biddies...
 
#11
Letterwritingman said:
In fact best ask TURP :roll:
She was a jack b*tch who shat an an incredibly good bloke.
with shaggy tits. (her not him)
 
#13
The original CC was a babe that gripped the headlines during the silly season (August) 1994. Married to a medical Col who was older, she had fling with Guards CSgt who was on her course (she was instructor)

Got off with being requested to resign as she apparently knew so much dirt on who was sh@gging who amongst the offr corps, that she had to sign a gagging order to secure her pension and gratuity.

CSgt was toast - two marriages ended, 4 kids messed up and CSgt's wife appeared in the mirror with kit on as was not so fit!
 
#14
her husband is a damn fine man.
She was a slapper who posed almost naked for the Sun. Thet produced a poster of her.
 
#16
and going by the news papers, theres no shortage of people to get a reference from.
 
#17
Sack the pair of them. Noshers both. You can tell from the posts and all the banter - when everyone does what they're supposed to do, we all love one another - the lads are great, the seniors are great, the offrs are great and away we go to murder the enemies of the queen/open goat-petting zoos in swaziland/get shot of 40 million manky nanimals/whatever we're told to do....But when silly girly officers start getting bummed by the boys - instant disaster. Likewise nasty ruperts preying on 'innocent' lady sgt majs/ORs etc....the comment that 'people are people' and will inevitably have sex is garbage. Of course everyone needs to release their ropes of love...but you don't do it at work, on your own doorstep, your mates bird etc etc etc - goes for civvies as well as us.
Guys - if an Offrs being a slapper - go and tell another offr - shop the basta rds. Offrs - if you see your mates being **** ers - grip them! How the KRH functioned with all that carry on I do not know...
Thats that sorted. World Peace next...
 
#18
So we've got numerous 'Captain Crumpet's and loads of 'Mucky Major's. What about the other ranks? - 'Lusty Lieutenant'?? 'Bonking Brigadier'??

Any suggestions?
 
#19
T-Tank said:
So we've got numerous 'Captain Crumpet's and loads of 'Mucky Major's.
The tabloids probably don't realise that there are any other types of officer in the army.

msr
 
#20
I think they're quite keen on Colonels too.
Other than that, you're right.
 

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