"And now over to our specialist correspondent, NSP. So, NSP: what developments in offshore wind?"
"Well, the weather's nice, the food is crap, the captain's a bit of wanker, windfarms are a waste of time and money, there's apparently 50gazillion unaccounted-for LMBs per square metre out here and we've found one in three years - and then the Cloggie navy dropped it towing it away from the big-ass channel leading into the Maas and up to Rotterdam. But who gives a toss? I'm pulling down £ a day to spend 98% of my twelve-hour shift reading, watching movies, playing computer games and surfing the internet. Back to the studio..."