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ARRSE lockdown novel

A.N.Other

Old-Salt
greenbaggyskin and retread2 gave me an idea (yes I know, a new experience for me!).

Why doesn't ARRSE write it's own lockdown novel? You add a post with the next line in the novel.

This is in the ARRSE Hole, so anything your rabid little think boxes come up with is fair game.

Chapter 1:
greenbaggyskin
Bob woke with a start, as the morning sun streamed through the thin curtains hanging at the bay window of his modest semi in suburbia. His nose was instantly assaulted by the reek of cheap whisky and supermarket cigars, which was emanating from the clothes he had fallen asleep wearing the night before.
retread2
The body next to him stirred. She was wearing nothing but . . .
Murphy_Slaw
a dry suit including a brass diving helmet. This bloody virus was playing hell with his sex life.

Over to you....

Edit: oops, just saw Murphy's contribution.
 
greenbaggyskin and retread2 gave me an idea (yes I know, a new experience for me!).

Why doesn't ARRSE write it's own lockdown novel? You add a post with the next line in the novel.

This is in the ARRSE Hole, so anything your rabid little think boxes come up with is fair game.

Chapter 1:
greenbaggyskin
Bob woke with a start, as the morning sun streamed through the thin curtains hanging at the bay window of his modest semi in suburbia. His nose was instantly assaulted by the reek of cheap whisky and supermarket cigars, which was emanating from the clothes he had fallen asleep wearing the night before.
retread2
The body next to him stirred. She was wearing nothing but . . .
Murphy_Slaw
a dry suit including a brass diving helmet. This bloody virus was playing hell with his sex life.
@clubswinger
And they all lived Happily Ever After
The end

Over to you....

Edit: oops, just saw Murphy's contribution.
 

NSP

LE
I think the ability to deploy the quote function should be a pre-requisite for contributing to this thread.

 

Whining Civvy

War Hero
greenbaggyskin and retread2 gave me an idea (yes I know, a new experience for me!).

Why doesn't ARRSE write it's own lockdown novel? You add a post with the next line in the novel.

This is in the ARRSE Hole, so anything your rabid little think boxes come up with is fair game.

Chapter 1:
greenbaggyskin
Bob woke with a start, as the morning sun streamed through the thin curtains hanging at the bay window of his modest semi in suburbia. His nose was instantly assaulted by the reek of cheap whisky and supermarket cigars, which was emanating from the clothes he had fallen asleep wearing the night before.
retread2
The body next to him stirred. She was wearing nothing but . . .
Murphy_Slaw
a dry suit including a brass diving helmet. This bloody virus was playing hell with his sex life.
Club Swinger
and they all lived happily ever after.
The end
of the bed began to vibrate rhythmically; it turned out that 'ever after' was a slightly shorter span of time than that required to smoke a post-conjugal cigarette. Bob crawled out of bed, his head pounding, and inched his way painfully to the curtains, peering through them to see the cause of the sudden ruckus. "My God," he said, as the brass diving helmet raised itself silkily from his pillow "it's the vicar. And he's
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
And they all caught Covid-19 and popped their clogs.

The End.
 
I was shown a thread in a similar vein on a motorcycle forum called Kill switch. Fair play the tears were rolling down my cheeks laughing, nearly, but not quite in the league of Stumpy the dog on here.

Eta. It was called Killenders Street.
 
Last edited:

Robme

LE
it's the vicar...
And he’s got my French maids outfit on, the barsteward claims that he returned it months ago. Wait till I lay my hands on him.
So babe, said Bob what you doing later?
Well apparently the outrage bus was left in Hillsborough for the celebrations, fooking southern softies cancelled the ‘celebrations’. Best ditch this diving rig, and get changed into ...
 

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