Arrse livestock

Discussion in 'ARRSE Social, Events & Networking' started by cernunnos, Sep 23, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I've seen plenty of activity in the kennel club link but what about other livestock. Quite a few serving soldiers giddy-ups, perhaps a pig, ferrets etc, hounds, not to mention all AK's harem of goats. Settled sedentary when I's like myself have even more....

    How about a bit of networking on that front.

    I'll start the ball rolling. Any arrse beekeepers out there, anywhere? I'm particularly interested in getting some Melifera Melifera nucs (european black bees eradicated by the nazis) Norway, Switzerland, the worzel west and Ireland are my best hopes! Ping me if you can help!

    I have Carniolan landrace bees at present, but they are all limp stinged southern puffs........I should have to fight them for their honey!

    Oh and small working ferrets / polecats, skyrocket stuff (no names no pack drill) in Germany, my boy wants some!
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

  3. I've still got the scars from my own ferrets as a kid, the last thing I need is a PWO RP ferret. I'd be bumpering his cage ceiling all night!
    • Like Like x 2
  4. I had crabs once.
  5. I was weaning some bulls for auction yesterday and got shat on by a cow, it went right down my back. Made me wet.
  6. You are Ching Chong Chinaman and I claim my 100,000 youn.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. The Germans are into that, being shat on by some old cow, does nowt for me! You sure they weren't stirks, or bullocks depending where you live. It's hard being a roughy toughy bull if you're still doing milk!
  8. They are in good hands now I can assure you!
  9. Yeah they were stirks but dodged the farmer lingo to save being misunderstood. They did well, averaged 570 best at 720. Got the farm hand to clean me up, was like the start of a budget porn film stood in the yard with me top off getting him to wipe shit off me with a handful of hay. However a fat lass in wellies, flexothane trousers and a bra is hardly **** fodder.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Don't stop now!!!............
  11. give over
  12. Aaaaaaarrrrghhhhh.......................................Have you got a handful of hay for me?
  13. In my region, where fruit growing is a major industry we have a breed of Melifera that are indigenous to us the Breton Black Bee, a pure bred bee from Ta Enez Euza. A firm favourite with Breton bee-keepers who try hard to keep the breed pure. Very docile to handle and copes very well in our maritime climate. Prolific honey producers. I have a very good contact in Huelgoat, as I have numerous hives around the farm, who will supply this variety of bee and the Buckfast bee, however you need to be very clear as to what you want to buy.

    As I do not know your location, I would need you to contact me by PM as here we are required, by law, to register our bees and hives. My contact can arrange delivery by specialist transport to any part of the EU with the correct documentation.

    Wait to hear from you
    • Like Like x 1

  14. PM on route!
  15. My section adopted an Iguana when we were in Belize. Somewhat predictably we called it Iggy. It was quite large and a bad tempered twat too. The bugger would lash out suddenly with its tail and give you a painfull slap. Also, it had no table manners and would have your bloody fingers off if it could at feeding time.

    We tried to get it pissed one night but it wouldn't drink the beer. I don't blame it, I didn't like Belikan beer either.

    We had to lose it one day when it had a fit of violence on board a Puma chopper en route to Punta Gorda and the ALM got a monk on. So the pilot went down to tree top height at walking pace and we let it go on a tree top. No sense of humour the RAF.