Arrse karaoke

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Auld-Yin, Jun 2, 2005.

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  1. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Let's have a karaoke. And the first performer is your 9but not all MODs) favourite poster - Auld - Yin. All together now

    La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
    La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
    La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
    La,la,la la,la,la,la,la

    I just can't get you out of my head
    Boy, your lovin' is all I think about
    I just can't get you out of my head
    Boy, its more than I dare to think about

    La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
    La,la,la la,la,la,la,la

    I just can't get you out of my head
    Boy, your lovin' is all I think about
    I just can't get you out of my head
    Boy, its more than I dare to think about



    I thank you!

    Next!
     
  2. Sing me back home
    Merle Haggard
    W/guitar chords

    A E D A
    The warden led a prisoner down the hallway to his doom
    A E
    I stood up to say good-bye like all the rest
    A E D A
    And I heard him tell the warden just bef ore he reached my cell
    A E A
    'Let my guitar playing friend do my req uest.' (Let him...)

    CHORUS:
    A E D A
    Sing me back home with a song I used to hear
    A E
    Make my old memories come a live
    A E D A
    Take me a way and turn back the years
    A E A
    Sing Me Back Home before I die

    I recall last Sunday morning a choir came in from town

    Just to sing a few old gospel song

    And I heard him tell the singers 'There's a song my mama sang.

    Can I hear once before we move along?'

    CHORUS
    A E D - A
    (Sing Me Back Home before I di e )


    8)
     
  3. An Egnineer told me before he died - arummmmm ........

    etc, etc.
     
  4. There was Hank, Hank, givin' himself a w@nk in the store, in the store,.... and I'm sure you know the rest.
     
  5. In the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runnaway American dream
    At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines
    Sprung from cages on highway 9
    chrome-wheeled, fuel-injected and stepping out over the line
    WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA
    Baby this town breaks the bones from your back
    Its a death trap, its a suicide track
    We gotta get out while we're young
    'cos tramps like us Baby we were born to run

    DA DA DA DA
    :D
     
  6. *ahem*

    Busted flat in Baton Rouge
    Waitin' for a train
    And I's feelin' near as faded as my jeans
    Bobby thumbed a diesel down just before it rained
    That rode us all the way to New Orleans

    I pulled out my harpoon of my dirty red bandanna
    I's playin' soft while Bobby sang the blues
    Windshield wipers slappin' time, I's holdin' Bobby's hand in mine
    And we sang every song that driver knew

    Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
    Nothin' don't mean nothin' honey if it ain't free
    And feelin' good was easy Lord when he sang the blues
    You know feelin' good was good enough for meeeeeee
    Good enough for me and my Bobby McGeeeeeeeeee


    :)

    *roundly booed offstage for attempting this one sh!tfaced*
     
  7. After much alcohol...

    Get your motor running
    Head out on the highway
    Looking for adventure
    In whatever comes our way

    Yeah baby gonna make it happen
    Take the world in a love embrace
    Fire all of my guns at once and explode into space
    Like a true nature's child, we were born, born to be wild
    Never climbed so high, never gonna die...

    BORN TO BE WILLLLLDDDD BORN TO BE WILLLLLLDDDD


    (air guitar interlude)
     
  8. With a female co-star (notoriously hard to find!)

    PVRd: Who's the black private dick
    That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
    Bird: SHAFT!
    Ya damn right!

    PVRd: Who is the man that would risk his neck
    For his brother man?
    Bird: SHAFT!
    Can you dig it?

    PVRd: Who's the cat that won't cop out
    When there's danger all about?
    Bird: SHAFT!
    Right On!

    PVRd:They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother
    Bird: SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
    I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft.
    THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

    PVRd: He's a complicated man
    But no one understands him but his woman
    JOHN SHAFT!
     
  9. Another one with a bird:

    Guess the song!

    Boy:
    I remember every little thing
    As if it happened only yesterday
    Parking by the lake
    And there was not another car in sight
    And I never had a girl
    Looking any better than you did
    And all the kids at school
    They were wishing they were me that night

    And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
    It never felt so good, it never felt so right
    And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
    C'mon! Hold on tight!
    C'mon! Hold on tight!

    Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
    I can see paradise by the dashboard light

    Girl:
    Ain't no doubt about it
    We were doubly blessed
    Cause we were barely seventeen
    And we were barely dressed

    Ain't no doubt about it
    Baby got to go and shout it
    Ain't no doubt about it
    We were doubly blessed

    Boy:
    Cause we were barely seventeen
    And we were barely dressed

    Baby doncha hear my heart
    You got it drowning out the radio
    I've been waiting so long
    For you to come along and have some fun

    And I gotta let ya know
    No you're never gonna regret it
    So open up your eyes I got a big surprise
    It'll feel all right
    Well I wanna make your motor run

    And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
    It never felt so good, it never felt so right
    And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
    C'mon! Hold on tight!
    C'mon! Hold on tight!

    Though it's cold and lonley in the deep dark night
    I can see paradise by the dashboard light
    Paradise by the dashboard light

    You got to do what you can
    And let Mother Nature do the rest
    Ain't no doubt about it
    We were doubly blessed
    Cause we were barely seventeen
    And we were barely--

    We're gonna go all the way tonight
    We're gonna go allt he way
    An tonight's the night...

    Radio Broadcast:
    Ok, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker
    going here, two down, nobody on, no score,
    bottom of the ninth, there's the wind-up and
    there it is, a line shot up the middle, look
    at him go. This boy can really fly!
    He's rounding first and really turning it on
    now, he's not letting up at all, he's gonna
    try for second; the ball is bobbled out in center,
    and here comes the throw, and what a throw!
    He's gonna slide in head first, here he comes, he's out!
    No, wait, safe--safe at second base, this kid really
    makes things happen out there.
    Batter steps up to the plate, here's the pitch--
    he's going, and what a jump he's got, he's trying
    for third, here's the throw, it's in the dirt--
    safe at third! Holy cow, stolen base!
    He's taking a pretty big lead out there, almost
    daring him to try and pick him off. The pitcher
    glance over, winds up, and it's bunted, bunted
    down the third base line, the suicide squeeze in on!
    Here he comes, squeeze play, it's gonna be close,
    here's the throw, there's the play at the plate,
    holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!

    Girl:
    Stop right there!
    I gotta know right now!
    Before we go any further--!

    Do you love me?
    Will you love me forever?
    Do you need me?
    Will you never leave me?
    Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
    Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
    Do you love me!?
    Will you love me forever!?
    Do you need me!?
    Will you never leave me!?
    Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life!?
    Will you take me away and will you make me your wife!?
    I gotta know right now
    Before we go any further
    Do you love me!!!?
    Will you love me forever!!!?

    Boy:
    Let me sleep on it
    Baby, baby let me sleep on it
    Let me sleep on it
    And I'll give you my answer in the morning

    Let me sleep on it
    Baby, baby let me sleep on it
    Let me sleep on it
    And I'll give you my answer in the morning

    Let me sleep on it
    Baby, baby let me sleep on it
    Let me sleep on it
    And I'll give you my answer in the morning

    Girl:
    I gotta know right now!
    Do you love me?
    Will you love me forever?
    Do you need me?
    Will you never leave me?
    Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
    Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
    I gotta know right now!
    Before we go any further
    Do you love me?
    And will you love me forever?

    Boy:
    Let me sleep on it
    Baby, baby let me sleep on it
    Let me sleep on it
    And I'll give you my answer in the morning
    Let me sleep on it!!!

    Girl:
    Will you love me forever?

    Boy:
    Let me sleep on it!!!

    Girl:
    Will you love me forever!!!

    Boy:
    I couldn't take it any longer
    Lord I was crazed
    And when the feeling came upon me
    Like a tidal wave
    I started swearing to my god and on my mother's grave
    That I would love you to the end of time
    I swore that I would love you to the end of time!

    So now I'm praying for the end of time
    To hurry up and arrive
    Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
    I don't think that I can really survive
    I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
    But God only knows what I can do right now
    I'm praying for the end of time
    It's all that I can do
    Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you!!!

    Boy:
    It was long ago and it was far away
    and it was so much better than it is today

    Girl:
    It never felt so good
    It never felt so right
    And we were glowing like
    A metal on the edge of a knife
     
  10. Ah paradise, the bane of my life, ex bird could sing and loved it. I cant and hate it
     
  11. My song of choice

    If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man,
    You win some, lose some, all the same to me,

    The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say,
    I don't share your greed, the only card I need is
    The Ace Of Spades

    Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil,
    Going with the flow, it's all the same to me,
    Seven or Eleven, snake eyes watching you,
    Double up or quit, double stake or split,
    The Ace Of Spades

    You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools,
    But that's the way I like it baby,
    I don't wanna live for ever,
    And don't forget the joker!
    Pushing up the ante, I know you've got to see me,
    Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again,

    I see it in your eyes, take one look and die,
    The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be,
    The Ace Of Spades


    For some reason when i'm drunk i think the whole world wants to hear this.
     
  12. Here's one for Corps and ctauch in the unlikely event they should attend - apologies to Rolf Harris for the amendments - doesn't make much sense but who cares?

    Two little boys had two little toys
    Each had a wooden arse
    Gaily they played each summer's day
    Botty bashers both of course
    One little chap then had a mishap
    Broke off ctauch's zucchini
    Wept for his toy then cried with joy
    As his young playmate said

    Did you think I would leave you crying
    When there's room up my arse for two
    Climb up here Corps and don't be crying
    I can go just as fast with two
    When we grow up we'll both be septics
    And our arses will be toys
    And I wonder if we'll remember
    When we were two little boys

    Long years had passed, war came so fast
    Bravely they marched away
    Arses roared loud, and in the mad crowd
    Wounded and dying lay
    Up goes a shout, a arse dashes out
    Out from the ranks so blue
    Gallops away to where ctauch lay
    Then came a voice he knew

    Did you think I would leave you dying
    When there's room up my arse for two
    Climb up here Corps, we'll soon be flying
    I can go just as fast with two
    Did you say Joe I'm all a-tremble
    Perhaps it's the sextoys noise
    But I think it's that I remember
    When we were two little boys

    Did you think I would leave you crying
    When there's room up my arse for two
    Climb up here Corps and don't be crying
    I can go just as fast with two
    When we grow up we'll both be septics
    And our arses will be toys
    And I wonder if we'll remember
    When we were two little boys
     
  13. Paradise by the dash board lights. Every karaoke I've ever been to a pair of fat slappers get up and murder that one.

    Then you get the cnuts that go through the Irish pages looking for 'rebel' songs because their mum's aunt's mother was Irish FFS.
     
  14. '' I know a song that'll get on your nerves,

    get on your nerves,

    get on your nerves.............'' :D
     
  15. So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
    blue skies from pain.
    Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil?
    Do you think you can tell?

    And did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts?
    Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze?
    Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange
    a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

    How I wish, how I wish you were here.
    We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
    year after year,
    running over the same old ground. What have we found?
    The same old fears,
    wish you were here.