Arrse in press

[Forces_Sweetheart]

Not sure which thread sparked this...

Copyright 2007 Associated Newspapers Ltd.
All Rights Reserved
The Evening Standard (London)

February 19, 2007 Monday

SECTION: A MERGE; Pg. 14

HEADLINE: Bombshell who never saw action

EXTRA parade-ground press-ups for Tory MP Michael Fabricant. The MP for Lichfield has come under friendly fire from Army squaddies disgruntled at his claims on his website that he once "served" with the Royal Marines in 1998.

On the British Army Rumour Service, or ARRSE website, as it is known, some former soldiers complain in fairly fruity terms that Fabricant only trained with the Marines rather than saw any active service.

They also make several unkind remarks about Fabricant's bouffant blond barnet potentially getting caught in the engines of army helicopters. The Tory politician is easily recognisable in the Commons with his bright blond hair, which sketchwriters and fellow Members of Parliament have frequently suggested is a wig.

Fabricant takes the criticism on the chin. "I did serve with the Royal Marines just after the holocaust of the 1997 election," he tells me.

"I got round the assault course, which they wouldn't allow these days.

Perhaps if it's Army soldiers complaining they're just jealous of the Marines. I also got petrol bombed and trained with soldiers

before they went off to Northern Ireland.

The Armed Forces Parliamentary Scheme lasted for a year and also included a skiing trip to the Arctic Circle. I can't remember exactly what I put on the website."

You wrote "served" which implies fighting rather than training, Michael.

Fabricant is no stranger to political fiction.

He was political adviser to the BBC series The Final Cut, the last of the House of Cards trilogy.

GRAPHIC: MISSING FROM ACTION: THE TORY MP FOR LICHFIELD, MICHAEL FABRICANT

 

[rockape34]

Not sure which thread sparked this...

Fabricant takes the criticism on the chin. "I did serve with the Royal Marines just after the holocaust of the 1997 election," he tells me.

... holocaust? ... 1997? ... this more political fiction from Fabricant?
define fabricant: one who fabricates (makes up in order to deceive) !

 

[Mister_Angry]

Is this where the word 'fabricated' comes from?

edit: beaten to it - by a frikkin rock

 

[RABC]

Wow - he went around the assault course - surely a GSM is awarded for this ??

 

[ViroBono]

Wow - he went around the assault course - surely a GSM is awarded for this ??

In the Legion of Frontiersmen this is a distinct possibility. Walty MP Michael Fabricant sounds like an ideal recruit for them.

 

[Bat_Crab]

I believe it was started off by King_of_the_Burpas in an oxygen thief thread *searches metaphorical filing cabinet*, it's not one of his articles is it?

Et voila! Oxygen Thief Hall of Fame entry

That is definitely a wig.

 

[FlakeShag]

Perhaps if it's Army soldiers complaining they're just jealous of the Marines. I also got petrol bombed and trained with soldiers

What a f-ing idiot! He does not try to patch things up very well, mabey thats why the torys are lagging behind liebor?

Petrol bombed! Ha, I had more fire in a classroom, frigging walt!

 

[TheLordFlasheart]

With people like him, Labour are assured of a further 4 years ruining the country.

 

[wrinkles]

Sounds to me like this guy lives in his own little world. Sorry forgot he's a politician, they all live in their own little world. People like this give the word human being a bad press. Spent more time in the NAAFI queue than he has in uniform. The man is a tit of the highest order!!!

 

[Cuddles]

Bitchy little diary writers eh? Well if Michael F can't take a joke he shouldn't have joined - i mean taken part in the AFPS! As for "served" - any service involves serving but doing the VVIP APFS, which is like a long Executive Stretch for politicians does not count. The only plus is that he has a more intimate knowledge of the services as a result of participating than most of his colleagues.

 

[whiffler]

Bitchy little diary writers eh? Well if Michael F can't take a joke he shouldn't have joined - i mean taken part in the AFPS! As for "served" - any service involves serving but doing the VVIP APFS, which is like a long Executive Stretch for politicians does not count. The only plus is that he has a more intimate knowledge of the services as a result of participating than most of his colleagues.

You mean to say he's forgotten more about the Forces than others ever learnt ?.

 

[Random_Task]

Perhaps if it's Army soldiers complaining they're just jealous of the Marines. I also got petrol bombed and trained with soldiers

I wouldn't have liked to have been stood next to him when that happened, that 'piece' of his is an awful fire hazard.

 

[bob_lawlaw]

"former soldiers complain in fairly fruity terms??????" FFS! Journos eh?

 

[Praetorian]

Fuck me, all he needs is the Werthers Original and he looks like everyones "uncle" that lived across the street and touched you where you wee.

Hmmmm.......

Or it could be an aged version of that bloke who used to present "Fun House", Pat Sharpe.

 

[bovvy]

There are some gems on here:
http://www.michael.fabricant.mp.co.uk/gallery.html

Edited to add: Oh, bugger me, Praetorian!!! I didn't see you there. And, therefore, didn't see that anyone had already posted a pic of this freak. Well, they say great minds think alike......

 

[Random_Task]

There are some gems on here:
http://www.michael.fabricant.mp.co.uk/gallery.html

Edited to add: Oh, bugger me, Praetorian!!! I didn't see you there. And, therefore, didn't see that anyone had already posted a pic of this freak. Well, they say great minds think alike......

Steely eyed killer:

 

[bovvy]

There are some gems on here:
http://www.michael.fabricant.mp.co.uk/gallery.html

Edited to add: Oh, bugger me, Praetorian!!! I didn't see you there. And, therefore, didn't see that anyone had already posted a pic of this freak. Well, they say great minds think alike......

Steely eyed killer:

And he's got the helmet on over the syrup, methinks. To$$er!!! Either that or he's stuffed the front with cotton wool.

This could be worthy of a place in the caption competition .......

.......... What do you mean you're gonna tie me to a stick and eat me ????

 

[wrinkles]

I think it's Harry Enfield in disguise!

 

[Lawnt]

How could anyone have doubted him?

Evidently a special army soldier, nails or what?

 

[RABC]

This guy is scary