Arrse High Court of Justice

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aleegee1698, Jun 20, 2011.

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  1. Your Honour, members of the Jury, and the general Public, after some 8 years of depravity, witch-hunting, abusive debate, frivolity and tears, threats, and unadulterated One-upmanship, the Arrse Prosecution Service has decided to press charges against the majority of the alledged 50,000 members of this Anarchistic organisation.

    The APS is, however, uncertain as to the actual identities of the Defendants, and the actual charges relating to those Defendants.

    Considering all the main Players and Minnows of this party over the last 8 years, which Arrser would be charged with what? Which Arrser would be acting as Prosecution, Defence, Judge, and in the Jury?

    I ll start with Peter Dow in the dock, charged with High Treason, conspiracy to murder a Head-of-State, and general mong-ness..................
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  2. I'd charge 'Rearwords' for crimes against humanity for showing it's pig like face in public. 'Rearwords' - John Merrick but female, the ugly fucking cunt.
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  3. Hang 'em. Hang 'em all.

    Sorry, drifted off for a moment there. What were we talking about, again?
  4. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    ARRSE and Justice in the same sentence?!

    You obviously have not taken in the posts and threads on ARRSE in the 18 months you have 'graced' these pages.
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  5. This is essential;

  6. "And the greateth Good CO sayeth unto us all" Ye shall not have fought in vain, thee who haveth real General Service Medals, shall go forth and bring the wrath of Arrse bearing unto them who claimeth to have General Service Medals, but boughteth them on E-Bazaar. Justice and righteousness did then prevail"

    Or words to that effect
  7. Sounds good.

    Does it matter?

    ... On second thoughts, maybe hanging is too good for them.
  8. I can't see who the gutless, unadventurous git is who's strapped a plank to his arse is, but he should be taken up the woods and shot!!
  10. I do hope those Stocks are made from a fine-grained non-splintering timber, (Beech) and that the two "access holes" have been cleanly drilled and the arris taken off with a chamfering-bit no smaller than 6mm
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  11. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Is it illegal to burn a skinny bird for bleating on endlessly about wanting a fucking pony?
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  12. Depends why she wants it, does she want to practise bowjobs on, or to "want it" in a lovely French baguette with mayo, lettuce and possible chilli paste? Those might be crediable answers, but to ride? She needs to be shot.

    What about stalkers? I've had a couple of cases where I post, then someone replies, then they appear on about 3 of threads I'm on replying to me? I wouldn't mind, but it's pretty much all men on here, at least Jarrod is honest about himself.

    Jarrod walts?
  13. I'm innocent.

    All those stains are coconut juice.

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  14. It's one of those quaint English laws my darling - ordinarily she would be dipped in pitch and black powder and burned to a delicate crisp to the strains of Greensleeves. However, she gets immunity if she owns a ginger dog and a super soaker.

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  15. Sorry did I forget to mention stalkers in my last post? I don't want to mention people like Lucrezia by name, as that would be unfair. Now I do like the idea of a female stalker, chubby, middle class, lonely, mental, sending me her panties through the post and threatening to rape next time she see's me walking home drunk, but I get the impression LB is the kind of woman that would poison you before she raped you, which takes 99% of the fun out of it, or she'd tie you to the bed and cut your fingers off one by one with her favourite tarot cards.

    I say throw her in the lake, if she floats, burn her at the stake!