Arrse down the ages or how Arrse changed the world

If arrse or an equivalent had existed in history, how could it have influenced events, or more importantly, how could it have saved events from happening:

Example 1.
"Oi Alexander you great big nancy boy, me and the boys think you're so girly and caught with your catamites, that you couldn't defeat the persians and invade asia minor"
"what? p1ss off you sods, i'll go one better and do mespotamia as well"

Example 2
10th Dec 1941
American reports from Hawaii report a peculiar Japanese attack that failed to damage any warships.
Apparently a number of possible suicide or kamikaze planes attempted to attack multiple targets, but deviated and missed at the final moments. Some observers have made as yet unconfirmed reports that in the final approaches, pilots got out of their seats, opened the cockpit and presented their bared posteriors towards the intended target, whilst slapping it with a hand or in some cases to.
The resultant loss of control resulted in mostly misses in to the harbour, though there was some damage and casualties in nearby areas.
Intelligence sources report of an underground military club in the japanese imperial forces where sake, bullsh1t and silly dares are much in evidence allegedly called ARRH-SO. no formal link has yet been established....


Book Reviewer
Norfolk. AD60
“Oi, Bodecea, get off that bleedin chariot and show us yer tits”
Thousands of lives saved as mental Icenian bint chases giggling men around field wielding large sword.

Dunkirk. 1940
“My wife is shagging the postman. I shall kill myself now”
400,000 allied troops captured by Germans while shouting “GAYER. NANCY BOY. GO ON THEN YOU BIG PUFF”
Hitler follows through and invades England. America suddenly finds many interesting things to do on its West coast.


Kit Reviewer
I believe the natural progression of ARRSE over the next 30 years is to develop into a militia-esque movement intent on mounting a coup and making the country a safer place free of chavs and lying politicians but packed full of dirty totty.

Would ARRSE have existed 200 years ago, it logically follows that we would now be in control of the world and, possibly, half the solar system. That, or we're all on trial for crimes against human decency.
Hastings 1066.
"Are you really going to let the FRENCH beat you?"

Result England stays out of Europe, consolidates Britain under one country and expands westwards and southwards. Earlier and even bigger empire.
English remains a complicated germanic language, difficult for foreigners to learn, which serves them right for not being born English.

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