ARRSE dictatorship - Cabinet

#1
Bring on the revolution.

With the current government becoming more and more cnut like by the minute and the opposition parties offering less resistance than Dale's knicker elastic the time for the ARRSE coup is definitely upon us.

While the COs may take all the gucci positions, like Prime Minister etc (loyally serving Her Majesty) what about all the other Cabinet members?

I suggest MDN should be Minister for Health - He's caught just about every VD under the sun (and a few not) and will be in an empathetic position

Flashy for Education - No more mongs

Foreign Secretary - Who's the most vehement euro-sceptic and yank hater on here?

Home Secretary - Putteesinmyhands as he'd hang every paedo, shoot every criminal and sell every asylum seeker for medical experiments

Chancellor - Any takers? Could any arrser be trusted with the country's beer tokens? We've got loads of fat jocks on here, there must be one up for it.

Environment - ?

Defence - Has to be one of the COs...

Culture - Shortfuse :D

Transport - ?

Northern Ireland - Has to be Mistersoft, the jokes every anniversary of the deaths of the Irish Sychronised Slimming team would be excellent morale

Where is our "token" female going to go? They're all so fcuking useless though... :D

So fellow arrsers, could you add to this cabinet reshuffle? Have I done a better job than Blair ever could? Any changes to be made?
 

Auld-Yin

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#2
If Defence Secretary is to be one of the COs, then I suggest his deputy and Minister should be 5.56 for the experience and knowledge that he would bring to the position.
 

Auld-Yin

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#3
Dept for Work and Pensions - Hackle
 
#4
I would like to vollunteer as FLASHY'S deputee or PA or sumit cos me spellin is propa good and the chavs would all learn loads and loads.
i understand as a sprogy arrser i may only get brew boy duties, fair play.
 
#7
5.56mm does seem like a popluar choice, perhaps the CO should watch out in his second term as 5.56mm challenges him for leadership with his loyal band of supporters...
 
#8
Environment - Redrat. Although a relative newcomer, he is learning to be a tree surgen. Knowledge of Arboricultre ( tree surgary ) must be an advantage. (His spelling not mine).

As a reward for prolific posting, doomandgloom could be rewarded with governorship of Rockall.
 
#11
crabby said:
Bring on the revolution.



Environment - ?

So fellow arrsers, could you add to this cabinet reshuffle? Have I done a better job than Blair ever could? Any changes to be made?




Oh please, let me be the environment minister.


V8 Muscle Cars for everyone :eek:
 
#12
following my recent work experience, I put myself forward as housing minister, (or minister for increased national debt)

We shall buy and build on city centre pedestrian precincts. Every ex soldier will be given a new house, 3 mins staggger from the centre of every town with a decent range of boozers for a crawl. Kebab and grumble shops will be the new commercial property portfolio and the profit of shares in dog meat and kleenex will fund our inexorable rise to world domination
 
#13
smallbrownprivates said:
following my recent work experience, I put myself forward as housing minister, (or minister for increased national debt)

We shall buy and build on city centre pedestrian precincts. Every ex soldier will be given a new house, 3 mins staggger from the centre of every town with a decent range of boozers for a crawl. Kebab and grumble shops will be the new commercial property portfolio and the profit of shares in dog meat and kleenex will fund our inexorable rise to world domination
I can see no objections that for - infact you're welcome to a couple of large mansions (with no council tax), three jaguars and three truckloads of Ginsters pies
 
#14
Could I volunteer myself for Minister Without Portfolio? .......... it doesn't sound too much like hard work. And, what about you, Crabby? Lords' Chief Whip and Captain of the Gentlemen at Arms sounds fun!!!!

There's lots to choose from:
http://www.number10.gov.uk/output/page1371.asp
 
#15
bovvyblonde said:
Could I volunteer myself for Minister Without Portfolio? .......... it doesn't sound too much like hard work. And, what about you, Crabby? Lords' Chief Whip and Captain of the Gentlemen at Arms sounds fun!!!!
I'm just the bloke that cleans out the bogs...
 
#16
crabby said:
bovvyblonde said:
Could I volunteer myself for Minister Without Portfolio? .......... it doesn't sound too much like hard work. And, what about you, Crabby? Lords' Chief Whip and Captain of the Gentlemen at Arms sounds fun!!!!
I'm just the bloke that cleans out the bogs...
Oh no!!! Surely not!!! That would be utterly disgraceful!!!! But it wouldn't be unique that the person speaking the most sense is doing the most menial task.
 
#17
bovvyblonde said:
crabby said:
bovvyblonde said:
Could I volunteer myself for Minister Without Portfolio? .......... it doesn't sound too much like hard work. And, what about you, Crabby? Lords' Chief Whip and Captain of the Gentlemen at Arms sounds fun!!!!
I'm just the bloke that cleans out the bogs...
Oh no!!! Surely not!!! That would be utterly disgraceful!!!! But it wouldn't be unique that the person speaking the most sense is doing the most menial task.
Seriously, my c0ck isn't that big and I'm not the best sh@g - you can stop the flattery

Actually, what am I on about? I've got a huge c0ck and am the best sh@g in the UK. I volunteer without hesitation for the ministry of singles who can't get laid...
 
#18
A bit of back bencher heckleing
sprjim said:
I'll have transport. Give ME the power! :twisted: I'll sort this mess oot.
Bollox, your making a shambles of it already my good sir,
Youv`ve been at it 2 minutes and turned the whole infrastructure into a complete debacle. Ive seen better layed out road networks made by a chimp with a pen.
 
#19
More back bench heckling
crabby said:
Actually, what am I on about? I've got a huge c0ck and am the best sh@g in the UK. I volunteer without hesitation for the ministry of singles who can't get laid...
Would the honourable gentlemen explain himself, as to why he is allowing all single males to roger him senseless, just because they are single. Also kindly explain the need for the recent tax raise involved with this matter.

SK
 

Auld-Yin

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#20
SKJOLD said:
More back bench heckling
crabby said:
Actually, what am I on about? I've got a huge c0ck and am the best sh@g in the UK. I volunteer without hesitation for the ministry of singles who can't get laid...
Would the honourable gentlemen explain himself, as to why he is allowing all single males to roger him senseless, just because they are single. Also kindly explain the need for the recent tax raise involved with this matter.

SK
Oi, we don't want any 'honourable gentlement' here - we have seen how :oops: honourable :oops: all the pollies are currently and in recent decades.
 

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