Arrse CSAR and recovery

I am looking for a phsycopath pilot, a team of football hooligans and a buckshee CH-53.

My plan is to recover the shop soiled Apache in Southern Iraq.

All help gratefully recieved uniform will cosist of, Lycra pants stripey jumpers, ray bans and affro wigs.

Armamanet will be Roger Mellies profanasaurus and bodily fluids.


Count me in, i'm no football hooligan (more a rugby player, good enough?), but i did once fly i sh1tty little helicopter for about 20 mins when i was an air cadet, and i'm definately a phsycopath.   ;D

You forgot the stilettoes.  

Bagsy the red afro.   ;D
Aye go on then, sure why not?  Mind you, I ain't wearing horizontal stripes.  They just make me look fat.  If you throw in several crates of Guinness, Harp, and 40 B+H, I'm sure I could convince the rest of my platoon also.  Do we need to bring our big nobbly sticks?
No bang sticks needed

just your brits on the piss tshirts.

We will be armed with foul mouths and Stella, the only acceptable french contribution ;D

Pile, sorry took the stilletoes for granted, as part of SOPs ;D
No Foggy, youse can use yer heads like everybody else! ;D

MDN, can I be the doorgunner?  I've always fancied doing that for a job! ;D
No your a cripple ;D

and too ugly ;D

I have requested the Royal Marines band to play a fan fair, I believe your pal Ex Marine is Band Master ;D
OK, I'll run the EFI from the back door if you like? ;D (at least I'll have a ramp for my wheel chair and it should be a piece of piss to fit a Stenna Stairlift ;D)
Aren't they the blokes that in 1972 escaped from a military stockade and now survive in the Los Angeles underground?

Bet George Peppard is looking a little skinny now ;D

This is a serious thread, why would we want a bunch of gobby spams
What about Huggy Bear and Starsky and Hutch, do you think they'll be up for it?  Huggy can bring the drugs and bitches and the other two can loan us the car!
Like it, what's the salvage value of an Apache?

CH53 good helo for the job, but might I suggest something Russian? It seems the Iraqis AFV recognition is a bit better than the spams, so a Ruski helicopter would be better , we can nick one from an oil base. Let me do some research, this sounds like a plan.... :)

....and we need a gunship for another plan I have in mind

"always with the negative waves"......
The day ask for the Help of a Spam will be the day I let ORG treat my Piles ;D

Ill even ask Boxheads for one of thier CH53s

I bet Paul Michael Glaser has lot of time on his hands now ;D
Right Ive found a Mil Mi8 Hip with twenty cases of Wife beater in the back.....

Just kicking the tyres and lighting the fires

Its a go!!!!!

As for the salvage value, stuff that I wanna drive ;D

Donut luv trips £50 a go ;D
I wouldn't ask the Jerries, they crashed one in Kabul just before Xmas...bit of a touchy subject.  Probably best leave that bit  to Royal Marines Bandsmen.........they liked touchy don't they Exbandsman?
Right, got the platoon organised - told them that the Basra road was a "traditional route".  All the boys suitably wound up and convinced that if the IRA (omitted the Q from the term when briefing them on the mission) is involved,they're up for the ensuring ruck - even the catholic members of the platoon are on board on this one - yes we do have some, they're great for drawing fire.  Afro's are concealed under bowler hats, Poteen, Harp lager, and Guinness is currently being consumed in large quantities, and Tim Collins speech is being recited to them in an effort to infuse them with fighting spirit - "what load of oul balls is that 1st battalion poof raving about now sir?"  Your diversionary force of 2 dozen pissed up Ulster/Irishmen will be ready by teatime.  Am convinced we can cause enough distraction on the main road ("get outta my fecking way abdul, my father's father walked this road and it's my constitutional right to do so as well").  for you to be able to slip in with the main force practiacally unnoticed.  13 platoon, of the smirnoff-sponsored suicide company, the continuity UDR await your command.  ;D


Any more takers on the position of pilot?...


Ok then, i will fly us sandpit side, it may be a bit of a bumpy ride!  

Any REME chaps out there want to fit me some stub wings, with free fall piss buckets?   ;D


can I go, always wanted to play with the Nightsun, can get one from nearby airfield where local cop chopper is usually parked. As I played front row for many ayear I can always stick my tongue in the enemy's ear, if they try and get close.
As a disguise I can wear my 98 world cup t-shirt and we can blame the french for trying to make a profit out of someone else'swar....sorry they have always done that


As I played front row for many ayear I can always stick my tongue in the enemy's ear, if they try and get close.

As far as i'm concerned, any member of the front 5 is welcome.  Not like those poncy backs.  

Anyone got an idea how to fly a whirly bird yet?  My cyrillic isn't too hot.
Don't worry about the pilot, I'll grab hold of one before we leave here.  Those wheezy looking boys in the gaylord-blue berets I see knocking about know something about choppers, right?
Foggy, I'm helpless with mirth

Top post fella :)

Oh, any word on artifacts in the water at Ballykelly by the way?


I have an idea, we'll kid-nap a couple of US Army Chopper-jockeys, get foggy's lot out to secure the LS, get Do-nut and his Mi-8 Hip in, drop off the the Yanquis and let them fly their 'Pache home.. just in time for me and my bunch of HVM_Blokes to shoot the dumb farkers down on their way home for tea and medals in our own blue-on-blue back-in-black incident.

One each.