ARRSE Cabinet 2010

Could ARRSE run Britain?

  • Of course, we are an untapped source of diplomacy worthy of a seat at the UN

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Don't be daft. We can't agree on anything, and couldn't run a bath let alone acountry

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
Seeing as Gordon Brown has sort of resigned from a post he wasn't voted into in the first place, surely with our wide and varied approach to diplomacy, there has got to be a half-decent cabinet amongst the membership. The only question is... who?



(I know it has probably done before, but then so has everything else on here at some point in some style!)
 
#2
Ok, we'll have 5 A as Foreign Secretary. He could p1ss off Mother Teresa....
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
#3
Whet/Sven as Minister of Disinformation and Spin.
 
#4
Can I put myself forward the head of the Electoral Commision, I will save money by working four days a week rather than just three - the 100k salary plus expenses and pension is not negotiable, especially under PR.

I will ensure that the guidance that is offered to local councils on how to run polling booths is so vague and confusing as to ensure that no blame will ever come back to me.

I also have a mate who runs an Organic Brewery and I could get a good deal on some very tasty ale (special rates to the government).
 
#7
How about Fallschirmjager as Justice Sec? For his no nonsense approach to matters, and no sitting on the fence.

And Auld Yin as Pensions Sec, he must have some experience :D

I know I haven't made many posts, but I've been stalking this site for long enough to know a few of the personalities!

I won't nominate myself for anything, I dont much fancy the idea of having to listen to other politicians all my life...
 
#9
I'll be the wets monkey. I'll refrain from my normally unasailable RM hygiene routine and brew up some knob cheese for rimming
 
#11
Cuddles - FCO (if he can handle the FB he can handle any johnny foreigner)

Bigbird - Diversity Commissioner (wimmin need cakes etc)

Sluggy - Chief Whip (Jesus wept)

MDN - Department of Education (the kiddies need him back)
 
#12
thegimp said:
BIG FCUK OF
Well, they don't get much BFO than a schrank.... circa 1988 when some poor sod got posted back from BAOR and found that it didn't fit in the new quarter...

As for FSJ as Justice Sec... yeah, good choice.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
#13
jarrod248 said:
Can I be minister for work and ending benefit scrounging cnuts, to include the formation of workhouses and daisy chain gangs.
F'kin deviant :lol:
 
#15
I reckon there'd be a divide pretty rapidly, but it could work in our favour - the Old Gits would be quite happy to form a government together and would be able to run it successfully as long as it included Norgies of rancid tea, the tin with the missing compo sausage, and SLRs... this they can do every day apart from Friday, from 6am to 2pm (the ageing weak bladders mean we - sorry - they, are up at that time anyway, but will be tired and emotional from the hip flasks by 2).

At that point the youngsters can take over cabinet duties as they'll have risen by then.

The two component parts of the ARRSE alliance party can communicate via sticky notes on the kitchen table (it works best that way at home with Ms. stapd)

I vote myself for an Undersecretary position. Any secretary will do, except I won't have Blunkett's sloppy seconds.


ministerial taxi for one
 

Alsacien

MIA
Moderator
#17
Who would want to live in that world of BS for that money?

Not even any decent perks anymore, just complaining prols.....

Any Lords seats going?
 
#18
stapd said:
I reckon there'd be a divide pretty rapidly, but it could work in our favour - the Old Gits would be quite happy to form a government together and would be able to run it successfully as long as it included Norgies of rancid tea, the tin with the missing compo sausage, and SLRs... this they can do every day apart from Friday, from 6am to 2pm (the ageing weak bladders mean we - sorry - they, are up at that time anyway, but will be tired and emotional from the hip flasks by 2).

At that point the youngsters can take over cabinet duties as they'll have risen by then.

The two component parts of the ARRSE alliance party can communicate via sticky notes on the kitchen table (it works best that way at home with Ms. stapd)

I vote myself for an Undersecretary position. Any secretary will do, except I won't have Blunkett's sloppy seconds.


ministerial taxi for one
I gather she's shite at typeing but has good dictation skills..

 
#19
We'd need to get some GOATs in, non-arrsers to fill certain posts for which they are well qualified. My suggestions:-

PM - Maggie
Deputy PM - Clarkson
Home Secretary - The Incredible Hulk
Police Minister - Sherlock Homes
Chancellor of the Exchequer - Ronnie Biggs
Foreign Secretary - Nick Griffin
Defence Secretary - The big, blue, invincible bloke out of 'Watchmen'
Health Secretary - The ghost of Josef Mengele (watch those waiting lists dry up as nobody goes near hospitals)
Equalities Minister - Pope Benedict XIII

And an old title resurrected specially:-

Groom of the Stool - Dr Gordon Brown
 
#20
Could we have Arte et Marte as Chancellor?
 
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