ARRSE Agony Aunts

Time we had a bit of Dear ARRSE Agony Aunt, you know post your issues like the one below and get some good practical advice from the wide experience of life that ARRSE members have to offer (obviously does not include Bravo Bravo) .

So to kick off we have this wonderful snippet from The Telegraph.


Now the daft bastard moved in with the bint and now she is scuppering his porn and beer nights, time to kick her to touch after she has left the house spotless.
 

Konstabel_Els

Old-Salt
Time we had a bit of Dear ARRSE Agony Aunt, you know post your issues like the one below and get some good practical advice from the wide experience of life that ARRSE members have to offer (obviously does not include Bravo Bravo) .

So to kick off we have this wonderful snippet from The Telegraph.


Now the daft bastard moved in with the bint and now she is scuppering his porn and beer nights, time to kick her to touch after she has left the house spotless.

There are some sad cases there. I'm sure that arrse can compete well with such stupidity.

Unfortunately I am not able contribute.
 
Time we had a bit of Dear ARRSE Agony Aunt, you know post your issues like the one below and get some good practical advice from the wide experience of life that ARRSE members have to offer (obviously does not include Bravo Bravo) .

So to kick off we have this wonderful snippet from The Telegraph.


Now the daft bastard moved in with the bint and now she is scuppering his porn and beer nights, time to kick her to touch after she has left the house spotless.
We have one already.

@Agony_Aunt,
We await your proclamation on the above.
 
She sounds like a controlling mental case. MTG.
 

Pagan-Image

War Hero
Dear Agony Arrse..

I have an unhealthy obsession with Carol Vorderman, fat ugly women, bacon grills, egg banjo's and rifles with wooden furniture. What shall I do?
 
Dear Agony Arrse..

I have an unhealthy obsession with Carol Vorderman, fat ugly women, bacon grills, egg banjo's and rifles with wooden furniture. What shall I do?

Dear Reader,

It is perfectly normal for hot-blooded males to have sexual fantasies about Carol Vorderman. What you need is a release for that - I think you'll find rugged Primark socks are value for money.
 

Pagan-Image

War Hero
Dear Agony Arrse...

My rugged Primark sock tells me its pregnant, but i'm not sure its mine, what should I do?

My last sock was from M&S it was much better quality and I knew where it had been!
 
Last edited:
I always say that my Mrs is happy for me to live with her. As long as no one can tell.
 
Time we had a bit of Dear ARRSE Agony Aunt, you know post your issues like the one below and get some good practical advice from the wide experience of life that ARRSE members have to offer (obviously does not include Bravo Bravo) .




Triggered!.jpeg
 
Dear Arrse Auntie

The last few weeks, I have joined Instagram and now have an unhealthy appetite for hot athletic female influences on Instagram.

I find my day is filled with scrolling through dozens and dozens of Reels of super hot girls & MILF's doing gym stuff in really tight clothing.

Is it wrong, and more importantly, why didn't anyone tell me of this years ago

Signed
Fat_Cav

PS. You bastards!
 
Dear Agony Arrse...

My rugged Primark sock tells me its pregnant, but i'm not sure its mine, what should I do?

My last sock was from M&S it was much better quality and I knew where it had been!


Dear Mr. P Images,

MMy, you are indeed in an awkward predicament. The bad news is your spouse, on venturing outside the kitchen (it does happen) will discover your sock and the fruits of your 30 seconds of hard labour that becrusts it.

Dispose of the evidence while you still can. Post the sock(s) through your neighbour's letterbox.
 

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT

Pagan-Image

War Hero
Dear Mr. P Images,

MMy, you are indeed in an awkward predicament. The bad news is your spouse, on venturing outside the kitchen (it does happen) will discover your sock and the fruits of your 30 seconds of hard labour that becrusts it.

Dispose of the evidence while you still can. Post the sock(s) through your neighbour's letterbox.
Problem solved, that cat ate it!
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
Dear arrse agony aunt,

I am having problems with an ex-Hamster taking over my life.

Where can I purchase bulk supplies of a suitable lubricant?

Yours in hope.
 

JAD

LE
Dear Agony Arrse..

I have an unhealthy obsession with Carol Vorderman, fat ugly women, bacon grills, egg banjo's and rifles with wooden furniture. What shall I do?
Join the back of the queue with the rest of the assembled mob of urchins, I was here first!
 

Latest Threads

Top