I don't have a job but luckily I don't have to buy much in the way of clothes as the ones my mum bought me in C&A in 1981 still fit. I went to my sisters works Xmas do yesterday as her mate is also a virgin so she thought we might make a nice couple. She told me I was boring and I don't know if it was the glass of mulled wine I'd drunk, I'm not a big drinker, but I set myself on fire in an attempt to make her notice me.
Anyway, the pain as the polyester viscose of my shirt fused with my skin gave me an involuntary emission. I'm told the burns will heal but I'm really concerned that I may be some kind of pervert. Where can I get help?