Army Urban Myths...

Oddly enough, after I idly mused one day (in public, at the bar at my mine, which was silly) whether I should take a roast chicken up to a fellow Brit who was possibly not getting the best proteins in that place, I was informed that the CIO were about to pay me a visit. I left for Nigeria.
Reminiscent of a subbie in my TA squadron who was gaoled as the only available whitey when something went wrong with a contract his firm was working on somewhere south of the Sahara. Weeks passed and the consul duly appeared. Paul hoped for reassurance, consolation, maybe even release: the consul handed him a mess bill with a note from the PSO asking why he hadn't been in recently and if he wouldn't mind paying up
 
Although uncorroborated, I think Dempster/Tomkins mentioned in their book that one of those executed after the 76 Angolan debacle was charged with being American, which while it may be a great failing, does not usually carry a capital penalty. (Unless you're at school.)
Daniel Gearhart.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Ok he was one who was topped, but I couldn't find any corroboration to the claim, (from the book,) that one of the charges was being American.
Been a long time since I read it, so maybe my memory's at fault.
 
Ok he was one who was topped, but I couldn't find any corroboration to the claim, (from the book,) that one of the charges was being American.
Been a long time since I read it, so maybe my memory's at fault.
I don't know if that was true. I read your previous post and his name came back to me the next time I looked at the thread. I vaguely knew a relative of one of the Brits involved, so read the papers about it at the time. The sentences were given out in a press release before the accused were actually sentenced in court.
 
I used to be in the 4 Armd Bde TACP and when working (hiding) in the BALO's office flicking through the various mags (non flange related), in his office read some crab air publication that had a list of the previous months "incidents" and clearly remember reading about that happening, must have been around 82-83, so it appears to be that rarest of myths, one that is actually true.
I was with 4 div DALO '79-80. Had some great times. I have a 4th quadrant plaque on the wall in front of me from the guys at 741/742 when I left.
 
Heard one about a Puma landing on the square at Oxford Bks in Munster (always a Guards Bn there) The Razzer wanders over and tells the pilot to get off his square. The pilot apologises to the RSM and says he 's been given this grid to pick up a Yank General. The badge informs him that if an American General is coming to the camp that day then he would know about it, so get off my square. The Co pilot senses a bit of bad feeling creeping in and says he has a telephone number to call if there are probs. Queue standing around while the copilot checks it out. 10 mins later a sheepish looking copilt rocks back up to inform the pilot that theres been a terrible cockup and they've landed on the telephone number ! The RSM salutes crisply and tells the pilot to spool up and get the fcuk of his square :D

Circa 75/76 a Puma did land at Sebastian barracks Soest and the crewman came over to me asking for directions to Soest airfield. I pointed out that if they lifted into the hover and did a 180 they would see it as they just flew over it!!!!
 
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Possibly apocryphal tale of the Zambian air defence battery at Livingstone who shot down one of their aircraft on final as it came in to land after a sortie where the pilot was throwing it around over the field doing aeros.

Apparently the excuse was he was doing such a good job of the aeros they decided he couldn't be one of theirs and had to be Rhodesian.
 
While we is on the subject of aircraft.
Sqn from an Armoured Reg't using the ranges at Magilligan Point(pre 1969)peppered a Shackleton with a few .30 Browning rounds as it was on it's final approach to RAF Ballykelly.
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
two Army myths.
me signing on in Tottenham 1970, recruiting sgt.
" blimey that's the best test results we've had here in four years , you'll go far "

Red book 1974.
"If sapper Sir bhp had stayed in the army he could have expected promotion very soon ."
 
Did anyone hear of the two young Household division chaps that were very, very, inebriated and decided to take the puma for a jolly on a dark and stormy night in the depth of Wales, "There must be a pub open somewhere" but after a lot of switching and knob pulling that made very positive noises, they gave up and went to bed. In the morning the chopper jockies were all upset and bent out of shape as their toys had been played with and not put back correctly. After taking one step forward and being dragged in front of the OC the miscreants were informed that they were close to getting said aircraft off the ground. The poor chaps were relieved of many pounds and burdened with ROP's and many nasty punishments, the only saving grace being the amused OC telling the aircrew that drunked Guardsmen were as good at them when it came to operating an aircraft, otherwise they may have ended up enjoying a short sharp holiday in Colchester.
 
Couple of specials
1st Kent School Hostert, one of the many BFES Schools provided for Pads Brats. It was claimed that it was a Gestapo Bks WW2, and had 9 cellars of which 6 were flooded. However there were numerous ‘lost divers’ who had got lost whilst exploring the lower basement levels searching for Nazi Gold.

2nd this particular RCT Regt/Sqn, had drawn from War stocks 6; 50,000ltr tankers full of Derv. On completion of the exercise, the tankers were returned to war stocks, however before the tankers were returned the POL clerk phoned the returning depot to check they could receive the returning war stock. Yep no problems when would you be returning the 5 tankers? Checking that the numbers required to be returned were correct, the clerk told the old sweat POL Sgt, about the discrepancy. A few days before the tankers were to be returned, the Sgt approached the Clerk, asking him if he was interested in earning 1,000/2000/5000 dm. Of course he was. So a few nights later, Sgt and clerk set out with Tanker (how they got out the camp gates is never explained in this looloo). Arriving at the delivery spot, there was a huge hole which the tanker was driven into. The couple then returned to camp, with the clerk some dm’s richer.

One other oft quoted, is the story of a lowly clerk in the chief clerks office, fed up to the back teeth, helped himself to a full book of transport warrants and the appropriate rubber stamp. Then went AWOL for a couple of months, supporting himself by selling on warrants to anybody who needed a train ticket, to anywhere. This however actually occurred, don’t remember the clerks name but he was located at HQ 1 Armd Div & Scalia-back sqn, around 1976/7, also, he went with a mate on the trip.
 
No mate, RAOC I think. Came from Belfast so he usually did the talking - this was early 80s. @sonofgreenfinch, the Strand is gone, good night out though. OOB to us lot after the Droppin Well, which was fair enough.
I think there was a Jinxy in 43 (Ugly) Ord Coy in Hannover mid-late 80s? Tall lad, dark hair, always wore rugby shorts. A very laid back (horizontal) kind of individual.
 
and that Belsen wasn't a death camp and therefore there was no harvesting of teeth etc,


WTF was it then??
Technically it was a concentration camp rather than a death camp. As the name suggests, a death camp (Auschwitz, treblinka, sobibor, etc) murdered a whole lot of people as and when they arrived at the camp. Where as a concentration camp (Bergen-Belsen, Mathausen, Dachau, etc) were where the inmates we held for a particular purpose. Bergen-Belsen, started out as a camp for important prisoners, who could,in theory be exchanged for whatever need the Nazi’s had. Towards the end of the war, as the Alies had bombed the shite out of the German transport network, it wasn’t possible to provide anything for the inmates, not that they had ever been provided with anything like enough in the first place. Auschwitz was also a concentration camp, as it provided labour for some 40 satellite camps involved in war production work, of which Monowitz (IG Farben) was possibly the most important as far as the Nazi’s went.
 
Did anyone hear of the two young Household division chaps that were very, very, inebriated and decided to take the puma for a jolly on a dark and stormy night in the depth of Wales, "There must be a pub open somewhere" but after a lot of switching and knob pulling that made very positive noises, they gave up and went to bed. In the morning the chopper jockies were all upset and bent out of shape as their toys had been played with and not put back correctly. After taking one step forward and being dragged in front of the OC the miscreants were informed that they were close to getting said aircraft off the ground. The poor chaps were relieved of many pounds and burdened with ROP's and many nasty punishments, the only saving grace being the amused OC telling the aircrew that drunked Guardsmen were as good at them when it came to operating an aircraft, otherwise they may have ended up enjoying a short sharp holiday in Colchester.
That was two R Signals operators from 216, the aptly named Chopper and Paddy.
 
Did anyone hear of the two young Household division chaps that were very, very, inebriated and decided to take the puma for a jolly on a dark and stormy night in the depth of Wales, "There must be a pub open somewhere" but after a lot of switching and knob pulling that made very positive noises, they gave up and went to bed. In the morning the chopper jockies were all upset and bent out of shape as their toys had been played with and not put back correctly. After taking one step forward and being dragged in front of the OC the miscreants were informed that they were close to getting said aircraft off the ground. The poor chaps were relieved of many pounds and burdened with ROP's and many nasty punishments, the only saving grace being the amused OC telling the aircrew that drunked Guardsmen were as good at them when it came to operating an aircraft, otherwise they may have ended up enjoying a short sharp holiday in Colchester.
Our eternal put down for aircrew was "Even a monkey can ride a Bike but you'll never get him to fix a puncture"
 
The olds classic If you see a box a OMO soap in pads window it means that the bird inside old man is away and is up for some horizontal jogging. Out of interest do they still make OMO soap?
Kingo,s Pads Quarters in Buckeburg and Obern kirchen 67/68 were known as Soap Powder City .the amount of Omo packets on display after dark, the dutch military police from Hessisch Oldendorf were regular visitors, quite a few wives were sent home, Lots of the DERR,s Maltese Wives from Rodenbeck pads in minden were shipped out to when the lads were in NI 69, no old tale I,m sure many singlies who served in Minden betwixt 66 and 73 had lots of fun with the omo ladies!!
 

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