Army to Provide Tennis Cover

In the event of a strike by tennis player's the Army will be drafted in to provide cover for Wimbledon and such like.

Fake Story Here
"I can assure you that when you see two highly trained men with thousand yard stares trying to kill each other with a tennis ball, Wimbledon will seem like a fancy tea party."

Fire up the outrage bus. My stare is only at 72 metres at present. I claim discrimination.


Tennis is fucking boring. It should be played using golf balls and large vicious dogs.
But some of the birds that play it are quite stuffable though.

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