Army Sayings

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by poet, Oct 1, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Combat Engineers:

    If it can't be fixed with duct tape and a crowbar, it can't be fixed

    There exists no problem which cannot be solved by a direct application of high explosives

    Among the officers:

    Hey, this place sucks! Let's live here!

    There's got to be a harder way to do this

    Among the enlisted men:

    Hey, %^#&*# #$^%&^ man! #$^%&# @%^# and let's #$^@#& #$^& (^*#^! until we #^@^$%&$* and then #$^#&^& @$^*)& @$#%@^ beers!!!!

    General (excuse the pun) Wisdom

    Friendly fire - isn't.

    You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

    If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

    Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

    If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

    Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

    If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

    The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
    a. When they're ready.
    b. When you're not.

    There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

    The easy way is always mined.

    Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

    Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

    When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

    Incoming fire has the right of way.

    No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

    No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

    If the enemy is within range, so are you.

    The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

    Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

    Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.

    Tracers work both ways.

    Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

    Weather ain't neutral.

    The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.

    Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

    Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

    The one item you need is always in short supply.

    When in doubt, empty your magazine.

    The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

    Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.

    The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.

    The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.

    Combat experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

    The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for crertain what they don't want.

    To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.

    A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

    Beer Math --> 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.

    Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

    If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.

    The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.

    There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.

    Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
  2. Sounds very septic to me 8O
  3. "It's foolish to hunt Tiger when there are plenty of sheep around"

    "AQ Training Manual 2002"


    "Never disturb your enemy while he is making a mistake".


    "if you calim to understand what's happening in Iraq you havn't been properly briefed"

    "British Staff officer at coalition HQ 2004"