Army rhymes?

Many moons ago, one of our lads used to regale us (under the influence of that wonderful lady Stella) with a recitation of the ranks of the British Army and the capabilities of holders of said ranks.

Can't remember any of it, apart from 2lt tripping over kerbs, walking into small buildings, RSM leaping tall buildings with a single bound, etc.

Anyone know the full gen on this one as I'd love to be able to have a go at it.

The Green Jackets used to have similar song - starting at Rifelman, then prgoressing through the ranks. Can't remember how it goes though :(
This one perhaps (or a variation of one at least):

Runs faster than a speeding bullet
Can walk on water
Is as strong as ten trains
Can leap tall buildings
Talks to God

Coy Comd
Can run as fast as a speeding bullet
Can swim well in calm water
Is as strong as one train
Can jump tall buildings in favourable winds
Is sometimes invited to talk to God

Can Fire a speeding bullet from a gun
Can swim well with arm bands
Is as strong as a bus
Can find the entrance to tall buildings
Can talk to God only if request forms are filled out in triplicate

Pl Comd
Is never given a loaded weapon
Drowns when placed near water
Say's "look Choo Choo"
Can tell what a tall building looks like 9 times out of 10
Has never heard of God

Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them
Freezes water with a single glance
Blows over 20 trains with one puff
Kicks aside tall buildings that get in his way
Found this:
The Corridors Of Power - MK 1


Leaps tall buildings with a single bound. More powerful than a steam engine, faster than a speeding bullet. Gives policy to GOD.


Leaps short buildings with a single bound. More powerful than a shunting engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water (if the sea is calm). Talks with GOD.


Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds. Is almost as powerful as a speeding bullet. Walks on water in indoor swimming pools. Talks with GOD if special request is approved.


Barely clears a garden hut. Loses tug of war with a steam engine. Can fire a speeding bullet and swims well. Is occasionally addressed by GOD.


Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings. Is run over by trains. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury. Dog paddles, talks to animals.


Runs into tall buildings. Recognises trains 2 out of 3 times. Is not issued with ammunition. Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of a life jacket. Talks to walls.


Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter tall buildings. Says, “look a choo choo.” Is NEVER issued with a gun or ammunition. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to himself.


Lifts tall buildings & walks under them. Kicks steam engines off the track. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance… HE IS GOD!
I do recall reading it in one of Spikes books (bloody funny they are too) but could never remember which one. That's what happens when you have the memory of an ageing goldfish I suppose.
I remember one of these up on the wall in my block at Catterick, can't remember how it goes but it put Sect Commanders favorably and included privates, it only went upto Pl Commander.

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