Army Recruit Fails Training - One For Dunners

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Cpl_Punishment, Jan 31, 2002.

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  1. An Army recruit was discharged from recruit training today at ATR Pirbright.

    Mr Kwodraplegic, an 18 year old from London, was rejected from one of the Army's toughest training centres half way through his 4 week course.  An MOD spokesman for ATR Pirbright explained ' Pte Kwodraplegic consistently reported legless for duty, did not stop arrsing about on the parade square and said he found squadded runs a drag, he was wholly unsuitable for further training'.

    This extraordinary measure has sent shock waves through the Army training regime and senior officers at ATRA have been urged by Mr Hoon to investigate this wanton waste of scarce resources.  A senior MOD spokesman commented 'We are very disappointed, ATR Pirbright has let this young man down.  We will be seeking answers from the Commanding Officer, Col CM Sillabus'.

    Mr Kwodraplegic has considered appealing but stated his lawyers felt he didn't have a leg to stand on.

    Army recruit training is already under review after female soldiers to be reported sore shins and blisters after long marches to the all ranks disco.  ATRA are investigating a more ergonomic approach as drill, PT and fieldcraft is leaving young soldiers too exhausted to socialise.  A recruit said 'I am always exhausted but they keep pushing you harder, these DJs just won't let you off the dancefloor'.  The Government is exploring the feasibility of ergonomic operations with the UN, who welcome a change from the physically demanding, high intensity, 24 hour operations that young soldiers are becoming bored with.

    Mr Kwodraplegic has been advised by a Government official that he may reapply and that his chances of completing the course would be greatly increased if he considered changing sex or ethnicity.  Mr Kwodraplegic has reported that he will retain close links with the Army through his membership of Blesma whilst he considers his future.

    Rotters News.
     
  2. Cpl P I take it that you are not aware that this is a totally "No real names" site?
     
  3. Tara,

    I don't know what you're talking about, Cpl Punishment is really my name.
     
  4. Tara,

    whoops meant to put  'isn't really my name'.
     
  5. AaaaHa haaaa and you thought you could bluff the Tara?? Well well well, next you will be telling me that Arsenal will win the fair play league, that Scousers wont thieve, that WRAC (Or equivalent Mr Picky) will embrace marriage before sex, and that the barman won't sell doubles and will close on time even if he is bullied or offered DM 100 per hour to keep open!!
     
  6. Cpl P, the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction - my Company Clerk (civi-type) at a certain training organisation had one leg. (Sounds like the start of a bad joke: "My clerk's got one leg", "how does he smell", "terrible" etc.).  Anyway, he used to get about on crutches, and for his own interest and entertainment one day, he took part in a BFT with a course that had just started.  He beat 7 or 8 of them, and this was at a Phase 2 establishment...



    PS One for the moderator - hope that doesn't make him too identifiable, although I don't think he would mind.
     
  7. Never mind a one lgged clerk, have you seen the speed of that Tommy Gary Tommassen ( Name Changed-Nae real names allowed!!) can go in that Wheel Chair, 'Racing Snake or what'
     
  8. Dunners,

    your anecdotal evidence proves the point.  I don't doubt that it speaks volumes for the grit and determination of that individual but it also illustrates how shockingly poor our recruits are on completion of Phase 1 training.

    I'm afraid our taining will only go one way, easier.  ATRA are exploring ergonomically friendly training so recruits do not face too much physical stress in one day.  Surely if their physical standard is so low on arrival we should be extending training considerably in order to allow more time to make it progressive for them.  When will it be conceded that this is a numbers game that has already undermined the esteem and ethos of much of the Army.  The training for young men is so easy even girls can pass it - where is the macho pride in that?
     
  9. Interesting point.  The issue of women in the Inf is one that's bound to re-surface sooner or later, in spite of the farce of a trial at Brecon a while back.  The fact is that most female recruits have a bit more get up and go about them than most of the male ones (sweping generalisation, but largely true).  We are starting with VERY low-grade raw material, and are only getting them up to the standard of a reasonably go-getting female in the time available (no offence to any girls reading, but we need them to be a bit more physically robust).  Solution? More time, more money...some chance! :-/

    Incidentally, your bit about the numbers game is dead on, and that is what worries me the most about the whole thing (and the reason why I keep banging on about it in these pages).  Can't decide whether I want to work for ATRA again in order to kick up an official stink about it (well, we can all dream), or whether I would find it all too depressing.

    Love to continue discussion, but sadly will be out off comms for next three weeks.  Hope to see heated debate in full flow by the time I get back.