The Queen, God Bless Her, was visiting a Military Hospital and came to a squaddie who seemed very fit. "My man, why are you here" Her Majesty asked. "I've got a nasty boil on me bollocks", says the squaddie. The Queen passed on with no comment. The Matron went ballistic. "Don't you ever say anything like that again", she said, "Tell them you've got a bad back or something". A week later, believe it or not, Princess Anne visited as well and when she got to the squaddie's bed she said "And what is your problem, now, my man". "I've got a bad back", mumbled the squaddie. "Oh, Good", said the princess, "I'll tell my mother the boils on your bollocks are cured".