Army fan!

Hi guys,

I'm new to this site, just wondered if anyone could explain to me how to navigate around it. The thing I'm really after I guess is getting access to some of your fit ARRSEs pics!

Can send one of mine back if you're nice (and at all interested, of course).

Yeah, likely.

You are a 33 year old fat lance-jack tank mechanic in some God-awful Wiltshire hellhole, smothered in zits. eating pizza and drinking Spar lager as you plough through yet another lonely, lonely night since Shaz left with your minging kids. You hope, by this pathetic and obvious ploy, to either entice your married SSM into indiscreet Arrse flirting, or maybe to score with a Para.

Top tip: The latter is easy. Just put on a skirt and hang around Paras. Don't even bother to shave.
Grrrrr, you REME fellas know how to yank our chains! I'm almost into it!

Go on, then, authenticate: Convince us you are in fact a girl and not some conglomeration of mid '80s NI tales, right wing nut job opinions and alcohol problems, all wrapped up in DPM....

answer this:

a guy offers you a lift in his 2.25 litre injection company car - it's British Racing Green (matt), convertible, 4wd and has 200k£ of sound system in it.

do you

a) froth at the gusset, and nip outside for one

b) sneer 'hah! a FFR landy? Poke it. squaddy scum'

c) (a) and (b)
I take it all back. I just looked at your profile - no REME sad act would have the wit to juxtapose 'riding' 'gliding' and 'Cambridge'. The class implications are all too clear. You are, in fact, an OTC wannabe trying to get it on with a rich Guards officer. As to whether you are a girl or a guy; well. In this day and age, it probably doesn't matter. It never did to Guards officers anyway. Just so long as you squeak 'Sir!' as they show you what the Establishment likes at the end of an evening.

Didn't I accuse you of being posh recently on another thread?

Go on, own up - that last post of mine was before you appeared - is it you being all sultry and temptificating? Is it? Poshy?
Yes you are.

Take this test:

choose in the corner shop a) liebfraumilch b) Kestrel lager c) Happy Shopper port (ruby not tawny)

Your girlfriend's dad sets the dogs on you after finding out that you wiped your glans on the curtains after nobbing. Do you say

a) I'll get my brothers on you as soon as they're out!
b) I'll pay for the dry cleaning!
c) It's pre-Dissolution tapestry! Won't English Heritage pay for the dry cleaning? They do in our house!
d) Get these mutts off me! They aren't thoroughbred!

An unruly former lance jack disses you on an unofficial army website. Do you

a) Laugh it off and join in the banter
b) help him track down a Shagane in real life and spit roast her in the spirit of inter class friendship
c) have him tracked down by your butler and killed

mostly a - not posh. From Leicester.

Mostly b - a bit posh. Poshy.

Mostly c- As posh as, if not posher than, Poshy McPosh of the Clan McPosh

any d - too posh. First up against the wall when the revolution comes. Poshy Poshy posh - posh.
I like the fact she had a fling with a 'para-commando-pilot' Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Had any 'Special Forces Submarine Captains' try to chat you up recently, pet? Any 'can't say where, but I'm deployed tomorrow - of course I'll call' ends to the night?
I bet it is those REs having a night out in Cambridge! Good lads. :lol:
I like 'riding'. And I come from cambridge. I'm going commando, does that count?

I once had a fling with a greasy REME lance jack, until I found out he was gay and not the marine-tanktransporter-HALO-chef he claimed to be
If Shagane was real, she's long gone now.... Shame, 'cos I reckon she'd quite like us as people if she got to know us. We're dead sensitive.

I am, anyway - I never put the Polaroids on the web unless I get dumped.

Unless they are really good.
Steamywindow said:
Certa Cito: Latin for "Say again all between 'hello' and 'over', over"
Shouldn't that be 'from' and 'to?' :)

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