Army F.anny

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by RTFQ, Nov 26, 2004.

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  1. RTFQ

    RTFQ RIP

    Hi Guys!

    I'm a 21 y.o. student from oxbridge and I want attention!

    I'm studying English and the History of Genitalia and my real name is Malcolm. I once played paintball near Swindon and ever since I have wanted to be in the Army. The recruiting Sgt said I was too much of a mincer to join anything other than the green slime or the RMP, and I'm not that stupid, so I decided to pretend to be a burd and post on the ARRSE website. I'm going to make out that I REALLY love squaddies and drop the odd hint about my sexuality and open-mindedness so the pervy old gits get all excited and flirt outrageously with me while they should be working or taking the wife and kids to tescos. Little-will-they-know that all the time I’ll be wrapping my nads in clingfilm and thrapping like a good-un. I’ll see how long this charade goes on for and for how many pages I can get the British Army to talk about Me. I’ll post a picture of the girl I’m stalking on another website, pretend it’s me and while they’re all slavering like sex-starved teenagers I’ll be shaving my perineal area with a bic razor.

    Btw, I want to be a para/cdo/pilot – any tips?

    Shagasquaddie
     
  2. Classic stuff RTFQ

    :wink: PMSL
     
  3. :D :D :D :D :D
     
  4. RTFQ

    RTFQ RIP

    What's so funny - I'm serious! Love Me!!!
     
  5. Keep going RTFQ - someone will do yer!! :D
     
  6. She's been a member of this site for 5 days and had more posts up than me after 3 days. I'm not a prolific poster, but she has a lot of time on her hands!
     
  7. Won't be long till she get RSI......they we can have the real fun :twisted: :twisted:
     
  8. RTFQ

    RTFQ RIP

    Just out of interest, did anyone who posts on other military sites notice if desperate students advertise their wares on other sites like Mil.com, pPruNe, gaymatelots@forums.co.uk and LordLovatt.com (sorry, like bootnecks can use a computer - they destroy what they don't understand)?

    If this is a purely ARRSE thing, how about having a Pig Board? They're popular on tour and we can put the desperate mingers on to lonely squaddies in Kabul, Al Amarah etc (not Shaibah - they're getting floorshows already).

    We could have Bulldog of the Month! with the advent of eblueys, we could give them the BFPO numbers of worthy forgotten ops and give the blokes something else to thrapp over when their stagging on.

    We'd be keeping morale up, like Vera Lynn, but more like "Vera Lynn the Pimp"
     
  9. For someone who has just decided to join the website, this guy (?) has had a lot of posts and has a good grip of lingo and way postings here work. I suspect it is a refugee from the othet mil. forum. Constant mention of self-abuse indicates some problems in the trouser area - maybe his dick is too short for him to get a grip on it.
    Shame Netley is no more!
     
  10. RTFQ

    RTFQ RIP

    Nothing of the sort old bean.
    Trouser dept is totally serviceable and I have a grip on the way emails and forums work because my generation learnt about that stuff instead of about discipline, community spirit, national pride and service. Luckily I had enough exposure to the old guard in my formative years to grow up with a chip on each shoulder.

    I talk about my ccok alot because I find it beautiful and it makes all my decisions for me. Frankly, it's my best attribute.
     
  11. RTFQ, I think the following is beautiful prose:
    I shall refer to this repeatedly in arguments on this and other forums dealing with military and deviant political subjects. I won't on boards dealing with sexual subjects as it's too boring.