Army apologises for sacking soldiers via Moonpig.

The Army has apologised after 38 soldiers learned they were losing their jobs after receiving a personalised e-card from Worse still an attempt at a humorous choice of card backfired when a number of sacked soldiers received cards showing someone waving two fingers at them.

One soldier received his marching orders on his PDA whilst engaged in a shoot out in Helmand province. The card – a spoof of an Indiana Jones movie poster with the soldier’s face badly superimposed over an image of Harrison Ford – gave the soldier one year’s notice.

The card is reported to have read: ‘Dear Gary, ever thought what you would do if you weren’t in the Army anymore? Well, now’s the time to give it some consideration. There’s private security or even the rough and tumble world of the mercenary. In any case, you might want to get your CV up to date, and please can we have all the weapons and the uniform back when you go. Best wishes, the Ministry of Defence.’

The Armed forces Minister Nick Harvey said that defence cuts were necessary, and that some time and effort had gone into downloading photos from Facebook and choosing a unique design from Moonpig’s really quite impressive range.

Mr Harvey added that one of the warrant officers who received a card remarked that Mulan was his daughter’s favourite Disney character and it was in many respects a good choice.

However, the cut in armed forces personnel is not restricted to the Army. Earlier this week a Tornado pilot received his P45 whilst on a training flight, with instructions to immediately eject and begin packing his bags.

The Minister accepted that the e-cards were perhaps not the best way of breaking the news to the soldiers, some of whom had served at least 22 years.

He promised a full review and said it is likely that in future such sensitive news would not only merit a card but also a personalised mug or perhaps some form of novelty garment featuring appropriate slogans such as ‘I spent two tours in Afghanistan, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt’ or ‘I’ve seen the Minarets at Basra’.

‘I don’t know what all the fuss is about,’ added the Minister. ‘At least we never used funny e-cards from Moonpig to inform the families of soldiers lost in action. Oh, hang on a minute, my secretary is waving rather frantically at me about something…’

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