Okely me dokely OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR Sorry GoodCo if you're watching......couldn't resist it!!!!! To all my comrades old and new in the RAC thread! My book (titled above) is getting published in about 8 weeks, priced at Â£9.95 + P&P it's a total snip. well, you be the judges? I've put some snippets on the Art forum but, how could I forsake all you goodly folks. Most of (if not all) of you have followed the 3RTR thread faithfully some, have even rolled up your left trouser leg, and shaken hands with your arrrsecheeks to get passes into our stealth version. Seem's our humour is too fcukin dangerous to be let in the open!!!!LMAO! Either way, even though it's difficult to monitor all these damned threads, I'm gonna repost some extracts from the forthcoming 3RTR VERY unofficial official history, or at least a record of some of the daft things we got upto. Okay you may not have been in 3RTR BUT, loads of you will recognise the first 2 or 3 chapters of JLR experiences? here is a small repost off the old thread where I and my Troop get our hands on Chieftain for the first time!! Hope you enjoy - pass the word - A3B's going into print, oh, and where are the bleddy orders for my Eve of Cambrai prints? PM me and part with your cash - thanks guys. He slapped his hand onto the front of the vehicle, âthis my lads is the glacis plate, no it hasnât got bugger all to do with mints and polar bears, it is in fact the thickest piece of armour on the vehicle. It protects the front section of the hull, which is the name for the main body of the tank. Why, I hear you ask is it so important to protect the front? Well itâs because we, in British tanks do not, I repeat DO NOT show our ******* arses to the enemy at any time, well, other than if weâre doing a moony, but not while weâre in a tank! The hole you can see in the glacis plate is the drivers hatchâ. Well that sealed it; I would be a driver then. The safest seat in the vehicle, just my cup of tea. I mean, come on, self preservation has to be the greatest natural human instinct, hasnât it? âRight then, one at a time into the drivers seat and Iâll show.........â Stupid bloke, there was no way he was ever going to finish that sentence as we stormed over him as one, all trying to get onto the tank first. He quickly recouped, âAAAARGH, you bunch of bastards, off the tank NOW and give me fifty pushups!â Having duly exercised our biceps, we all stood up and cautiously waited our turn to descend into the depths of the drivers cab. At last it was my turn, I lowered my legs followed by my torso through the opening until I came to rest on the seat. As my eyes became accustomed to the gloom I realised that the drivers cab was in fact fairly cramped. The instructorâs hand came in next to my face and began pointing out various features. âOn the left is the control panel for the Generator unit engine which powers the vehicleâs electrics. On the right is the control panel for the main engine which gives us our automotive powerâ. Yes, things were becoming clear, clear as mud anyway! âDown by your kneesâ, the instructor continued, âThat long panel shows you engine revs, speed and a variety of warning lights and gaugesâ. This really was becoming confusing.... pushbike to tank was a pretty big jump for a young country lad. âOn the floor youâll see three pedals, right is the accelerator, centre is the brake and on the left the gear changeâ. âGear change?â I said. âYeah, look, up a bit, in the corner, yes thatâs it, looks like a motorbike pedal. You hook your toes under it and flick up to change up a gear and put your foot on top of it and push down to change down a gearâ. âOh, I get itâ, I replied, âBut whereâs the clutch?â My thought was that this snippet of mechanical knowledge would impress him, but of course it didnât. âWhat ******* clutch? This is a semi-automatic gearbox, so you donât need a bloody clutch you knobhead!â. How stupid of me, I should have known better. The rest of the troop clustered on the outside of the tank obviously did know better by the way they sniggered loudly at my blatant stupidity. âOkay, on either side of you is a long stick, these are your steering levers or tillers as we call them. To go left pull the left one and vice versa for right. On the left on the floor is the handbrakeâ. So far everything seemed fairly straightforward, and of course it was all new and exciting. âAs you are sat now is how the driver sits when driving âopened upâ he explained. â In battle we close all the hatches of course as we donât want to die, now do we?â Much vigorous shaking of heads from all assembled ensued as the words âweâ and âdeadâ sailed through the air. â The driver has to change his position so that he can close his hatch. He does this by activating these levers on his seatâ. With that he reached in and pulled on a lever by my side and my backrest shot backwards at the same time as the seat dropped and I smacked the back of my head on the hatch rim as I collapsed with the seat. The result of course (apart from my sore head) was a massive guffaw from the assembled throng. The instructor regained control of the group and continued relentlessly with his explanations. âLook behind you monkey face, can you see a headrest flopped down behind you? Good!â Came his reply to his own question. â Now adjust it upwards until your head is supported by it and you can comfortably see out of the drivers sight above you.â His words had become quite muffled now as I lay in the dark depths of the tankâs hull. I fumbled with the headrest and having grazed my head on some protuberance I managed to achieve the required position. As I peered out of the periscopic sight in front of me, I could clearly see the instructorâs head and shoulders as he peered down into the hatch at the area now occupied by my groin. â Please Sarge, no blow jobs!â Came my witty remark, immediately followed by my witty scream as he punched me straight in my testicles! â Think youâre funny do you lad? Right lets have you out and give me a hundred push ups!â Edited once to put the bleddy snippet in...........DOH!!!!! Please give me loads of feedback .........don't be rude or nasty!!!!!!