Mr Happy said:elovabloke said:Mr Happy said:CO to OC B
"hullo C20, report to me over"
B Coy rad op goes to find the OC and tell him he's got to go and stamp his heels in.
"Hullo C20, report to me on these means over"
B Coy rad op goes to find the OC to tell him that he's wanted on the radio...
Forgive me for forgetting the correct call signs for OC B etc but you get the picture..
Radio's - next you'll be trying to tell us tankies you had maps
We made our own whilst on patrol using rabbit droppings soaked in screech..
Okay, JUST before the thread degenerates into the usual Squelch circuit!! here's a bit more from the chapter!!!.....
At this point I would like to give you an example or two of how bad voice procedure could have been.
Regimental Command radio net
This net normally has people who are very angry, stressed and confused on it. But every so often the Colonel himself may get on the radio in an attempt to restore order to the chaos and calm people down, albeit he may have selected the wrong radio to speak on, I have attempted to change actual callsigns in a bid to maintain security.
âHullo all stations this is Tango 99, today has been a massive success, you are all personally to take a pat on the back from me. . . . .â
âHullo Tango 99 this is Ã, you have the wrong means selected over!â
Undeterred by the interruption the CO continues unabated:
â. . . . itâs been a long, arduous exercise for both you and your machines so we need our well earned rest. . . . â
âÃ, WRONG MEANS OVER!â
â. . . . before we fall back to our hide locations tonight, I wish to congratulate you all on a spiffing performanceâ.
âTango 99, this is Ã that was long winded and watch your security. Cut it out. Out!â
â. . . .today was long and we have another long day ahead of us tomorrow. Thank you for your efforts and goodnight.â
Not only Senior officers have problems with voice procedure, another example could be a young Regimental Intelligence officer while on radio watch late at night in Command Troop, the Colonel has departed on one of his vehicles, the Colonel uses different callsigns when heâs on different vehicles:
âHallo Echo 1Ã Alpha this is Ã, what er, where and what Callsign will you . . . . er,. . .you. . . . er what Callsign are you using to . . . . um . . . . oh bollocks . . . .er,. . . wait,. . . um. . . out!â
âHallo Echo 1Ã Alpha this is Ã, what Tank or. . um. . . . er what Callsign are you. . . . to um. . to er?â
âEcho 1Ã Alpha, Iâll be using Echo 64 Over.â
âAh . . er. . .um. . . thank you, Roger out.â
A Squadron radio net, the OC ordering a âquick attackâ:
âHallo all stations this is Ã, orders. . . . I envisage a wide blitzkrieg movement cutting the enemy off from their rear echelons and reserves and blowing a huge, gaping hole in their lines. . . .âHe is interrupted by an unknown Callsign thinking they are chatting on the IC;
âEre, I thought this was meant to be a fcuking quick attack?â
âFcuk knows! Are you managing to write all this crap down?â
The REME now interrupt the message flow:
âHallo Tanks this is your mechanics. The tank belonging to Corporal Paul âBishâ Betteridge, Third Royal Tank Regiment is broken down at grid 234594. itâll probably take us a good two hours to sort it out, out.â
Control hearing the glaring cock up made by the REME now chirps in;
âHallo Mike 73 Bravo this is Ã, watch your security. All grids and reports should be in code. Out!â
Another Callsign now breaks in un knowingly;
âChrist almighty, did you see the size of the tits on her by the petrol station?â
The OC is now, after all the interruptions, once more heard still giving orders!
â. . . . and turning their line of advance so that we can begin to chase the enemy away eventually achieving the final victory which we so richly deserve. . .â
Outside, the war carryâs on and on and on until, an unknown Infantry unit âbreaks inâ on the net:
âYankee 16 Charlie this is Ã send combat report over.â
âHang on. . . ssssh. . . . .was that for us?â floats out across the air! There follow repeated attempts to get a combat report until Ã decides that Y16C canât hear him so he decides to resort to checking the communications;
âYankee 16 Charlie this is Ã Radio check over.â
âNa, no fcuking way was that for us.â the wayward station unconsciously says.
âDonât fcuking know. Anyway Sarge, Fancy a beer?â
âYankee 16 Charlie this is Ã NOTHING HEARD OUT!â