Armoured Farmer - A Tankies Tale - A review

AlienFTM said:
For those who have been enjoying A3B's book extracts:

NOTE TO MODS: Can you make this a sticky please?
Thanks for the review AFTM, Glad you liked it. Quick update, 2nd proof is almost with me, that having been'll be in print.........................................soon. Ta.
Very quick update, 2nd proof copy landed this morning I and AFTM will get thru it asap and then we should be ready to go!!!! Thank god!!!!!!!!!!
I've found out that the book's arrived at my mate's house. he's the only one who's told me so, hopefully everyone else's has or shortly will...........
Letter to publisher
Where the feck is my own order???!!!! You TTTTTTWWWWWAAAAATTTTTT!
It would appear that the book's arrived most everywhere except with me. I'm starting to get good feedback - no bad as yet - it's basically as PM's so if anyone has read it and liked it...or not? Please be kind enough to post in here, your input is valued - that way I won't hopefully make the same mistake in Armoured Farmer - Return of the Jelly!!! 8O Once again, thanks for your support. Those of you who haven't bought!!!........Please!!
I'm continueing to get really good feedback on the book, here's a review in the Western Morning News.
Slightly concerned, the printers print 'on demand' so, if you order you will get it but, I'm not sure on timings.
Waterstones and WH Smith have it on their 'special order' lists but, they are at the mercies of the publisher. Any probs please contact me. Cheers for your support. :D
It's also on Amazon....Malc.Got mine ages ago....crackin book.Although i don't believe the bit about the guy with the 1100 Morris with no paperwork..LMAO.


Not received yet :(

msr said:
Not received yet :(

When did you order??
I'm really distressed to hear these publishing problems upon return from a really good holiday.
Email me at home and give me your details I'll kick the publisher's arrrse for you!!!
Well as BlackAdder would say
"Bugger me sideways with a fishfork".
In the November issue of Soldier mag the book has a review, I would have liked more meat on the bones but I'll settle with 'fascinating insight into life inside a steel monster'.


Just finished the book A3B and I really enjoyed it. It seems that the antics of someone who spent his career on tanks differed slightly to those of us who experienced life both on tanks and armoured recce plus a completely different role in NI. I hope mine (when I eventually finish it!) can come close to yours in a literary sense.
Thanks Dave H for the kind words mate. I hope people will buy loads of copies as Xmas presents but, well, we'll have to see. Did you get my words on the last chapter you sent me?


Arthur3bums said:
Thanks Dave H for the kind words mate. I hope people will buy loads of copies as Xmas presents but, well, we'll have to see. Did you get my words on the last chapter you sent me?
Can't say I did; I was waiting for you to respond so I could send you my next chapter (chap 4?).

And put a word document attachment to it and replied to the originating work? email address mate. 8O
Thought I'd take the liberty of pasting this in written by Civvy-Shot.

For what it's worth, here's my 2p. First of all I was approaching it from an outsider's viewpoint. Tank nerd I may well be, but the closest I'd got to the real thing was looking at them in museums, watching documentaries or reading about them. I had actually got buggerall idea what it was like to live with the big metal beasts. From t'web I had a fair idea that Chieftain apparently broke down now and then, and that your average German farmer may allegedly have pointed in the direction of whichever bit of farm he wanted to replace at HMG's expense when the large noisy things charged (limped) over the horizon in a cloud of diesel exhaust.

So, the book. It's written in an almost conversational style, not littered with jargon and acronyms which seems to be a trap that too many military books fall into (if a 40 page glossary is required then the author hasn't done it right in the first place). It also takes you along at a good pace - there are areas where you KNOW that there is more to be told but going into too much depth risks bogging the narrative down. (Or alternatively that's waiting for volume two...)

Although VERY funny, it doesn't feel that the book was playing for laughs, rather that some genuinely bizarre stuff occurred and the author described it well.

The more technical stuff (i.e tank design through the ages) was also delivered in a style that anybody could understand, although A3B's urinal obsession may require qualified psychiatric help.

Bits that stuck out a mile? The description of the ceremony in front of HM. The pride in the regiment shone off the page. And the grumbles as the flash gits in the Challenger zoomed could hear them. And the lack of funding preventing the engines being turned over daily - shurely something like that could never happen today?? And more.

Well worth a crisp tenner of anyone's money, military or civilian.

My only very minor criticism was I don't think the binding will stand up to too much abuse (in common with PUTB, but small publishing houses...) but at least that might generate a few more sales for Herr 3 Bums. Incidentally, I note you don't describe how you got that nickname in the book....??
I've posted this in the Literature forum but thought it should come home to armour especially the advice about Amazon for all you budding scribes out there.

Miffed from Runcorn here!!!

I'm a bit disappointed with my publishers who now tell me that my first sales report isn't due until March!!! Talk about leaving someone in the dark!!!! I'm praying that I'm in for a pleasant surprise going by the number of hits this thread has had albeit I'd have liked a little more feedback from people who've already bought/read the book so I could vainly attempt a guess at how many have sold!! it would be nice to know if I've at least recouped my cost involved in getting published.

Second point is really advice for anyone publishing/using Amazon!!!!
I think I may have already explained how Amazon functions but here it is again.
1. A book is published and the publisher has to place it on the Nielsen register.
2. Anyone has access to the register and for example, Waterstones place books from it on their 'special order' file unless they have a marketing agreement with a publisher or wholesaler.
3. Amazon take book data from the register and advertise the book as available thru them even though they have no stock. Hence they don't always have cover photos etc as publishers don't 'tend' to place an image file on the Nielsen register.
4. Amazon receive an order....then in turn order from a wholesaler (who probably don't have a stock either) who then orders from the publisher and despatches the book. Leading to huge delivery delays of upto 6 weeks.
5. If sales are unforthcoming due to lead times on deliverys in their ad.
6. They 'knock down' the book price in a madcap attempt to increase sales even though they've organised no deals with wholesalers/publishers, then, if they get an order they attempt to order which fails as, they've no discount deal arranged and can't supply the book.
7. They then (just to really p*ss me off) state the book as 'No longer available' which makes the publisher look crap and actually damages my potential sales!!!!!!!!

I would like to state the obvious....please please.... the book is available direct from the publisher and by special order through other reputable bookshops so, if you want a laugh at some mad Tankies to rekindle your own memories and the stuff you all got upto......have a read of my book not forgetting to.............give me some feedback mates.

Thanks for your attention.
Spoke to the printers today. It would appear, including the ones I sold myself, I've sold......wait for it............a whole 222 copies of Armoured Farmer!! Bowllox, never get rich this way!!! Given the number of hits on this site and very positive feedback I was hoping for a bit of a higher figure but well C'est La Guerre!!!IF any of you know people who should have bought a copy but haven't....please plug it guys I need to sell 500 just so I break even!!! Disappointed but, still very very thankful for those of you that felt it'd be worth a read and enjoyed it....thanks again.


War Hero
I'm no book critic but just thought I'd add my comments about Malcy's excellent book.

I ordered the book and it took about a week to arrive, not bad for BFPO. I thoroughly enjoyed the book which I found to be very humerous, informative and well written, Malcy explained things about tanks and 3 RTR which allowed any non tankie to fully understand the world of a tank driver, Gunner, loader/operator and commander.

I love to read about all the places that I been to ie Fally, Paderborn, Cyprus etc, I'm a REME Recovery mechanic who loves Armour so it was very easy to relate my experiences to his, as somebody else wrote "it's a wonderful trip down Memory Lane".

For anybody wanting to know what life was like as a tankie during the cold war then this book is an absolute must. What's also fantasic is the stuff that blokes got away with during that era, Hilarious stuff that you just wouldn't get away with in todays Army.

I've recommended Malcy's book to loads of mates hopefully they'll enjoy the book as much as I have.


Hi read your book,pretty accurate,I was a junior in the late 70s then 13/18 those posh horsey types,never rode one myself a chieftain man through and through. oh by the way TEWT is Tactical Exercise without TROOPS not tanks,Enjoyed it immensly well done, Whens the sequel coming out.
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