Armless soldier

#1
A man was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see an ex squaddie with no arms dancing all around on the river bank. He thought to himself, 'life isn't so bad after all', and got off the railing.

He then walked down to the river bank to thank the former soldier (who lost his arms in an ied explosion inbasra)for saving his life. "Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."

"I am not dancing," the armless man replied bitterly. "My asshole itches, and I can't scratch it!"
 
#3
UtterFanny said:
A man was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see an ex squaddie with no arms dancing all around on the river bank. He thought to himself, 'life isn't so bad after all', and got off the railing.

He then walked down to the river bank to thank the former soldier (who lost his arms in an ied explosion inbasra)for saving his life. "Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."

"I am not dancing," the armless man replied bitterly. "My asshole itches, and I can't scratch it!"
you better fcuk off quick.
 
#4
UtterFanny said:
A man was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see an ex squaddie with no arms dancing all around on the river bank. He thought to himself, 'life isn't so bad after all', and got off the railing.

He then walked down to the river bank to thank the former soldier (who lost his arms in an ied explosion inbasra)for saving his life. "Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."

"I am not dancing," the armless man replied bitterly. "My asshole itches, and I can't scratch it!"

I can only assume, you are the said arrsehole!

Which is a good place for this thread actually.
 
#5
UtterFanny said:
A man was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see an ex squaddie with no arms dancing all around on the river bank. He thought to himself, 'life isn't so bad after all', and got off the railing.

He then walked down to the river bank to thank the former soldier (who lost his arms in an ied explosion inbasra)for saving his life. "Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."

"I am not dancing," the armless man replied bitterly. "My asshole itches, and I can't scratch it!"
You W Anchor. F uck off & die cotdeath.
 
#8
This really does cross the line from an 'armless joke into the realms of very bad taste.....

I know, hes a c*nt, but how often am I gonna get to use that line in context.......
 

Fugly

ADC
DirtyBAT
#9
How did he know he was a soldier? Dancing in his rig, was he? :roll: Oh wait - ex-squaddie - so how could he tell? ESP?

And to the bandwagoners currently lining up, if he'd have said "saw a Thalidomide victim", you'd have probably laughed.

Don't dish it out if you can't take it.


And to the poster of the joke, didn't you have the bollocks to post it under your regular username?
 
T

Tremaine

Guest
#11
UtterFanny said:
A man was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see an ex squaddie with no arms dancing all around on the river bank. He thought to himself, 'life isn't so bad after all', and got off the railing.

He then walked down to the river bank to thank the former soldier (who lost his arms in an ied explosion inbasra)for saving his life. "Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."

"I am not dancing," the armless man replied bitterly. "My asshole itches, and I can't scratch it!"
There once was an utter fanny that posted a joke on Arrse, which sadly happened to be an Army website. Utter fanny thought the joke was funny, but sadly, IT's just a sad prick of whom no-one should take any notice.

Because, you see, U F is just a cUnt .And the power of Arrse will catch up with such an utter fanny.
 
#12
Fugly said:
How did he know he was a soldier? Dancing in his rig, was he? :roll:

And to the bandwagoners currently lining up, if he'd have said "saw a Thalidomide victim", you'd have probably laughed.

Don't dish it out if you can't take it.


And to the poster of the joke, didn't you have the bollocks to post it under your regular username?

What does an instrument for measuring angles on the horizon etc have to do with this joke?
 

Fugly

ADC
DirtyBAT
#15
Utter cock said:
Fugly said:
How did he know he was a soldier? Dancing in his rig, was he? :roll:

And to the bandwagoners currently lining up, if he'd have said "saw a Thalidomide victim", you'd have probably laughed.

Don't dish it out if you can't take it.
What he said. However blast victims in iraq and afghanistan are funnier than thalidomide victims.
I fucking saw that. You deleted it too late.

Too far, cockbreath. Benefit of the doubt removed.

Porridge Gun, kindly check whose account this actually is and do the appropriate.
 
#17
Well I raised a smirk... Does this mean I've "Crossed the line?"
 
#18
Fugly said:
Utter c*** said:
Fugly said:
How did he know he was a soldier? Dancing in his rig, was he? :roll:

And to the bandwagoners currently lining up, if he'd have said "saw a Thalidomide victim", you'd have probably laughed.

Don't dish it out if you can't take it.
What he said. However blast victims in iraq and afghanistan are funnier than thalidomide victims.
I fucking saw that. You deleted it too late.

Too far, cockbreath. Benefit of the doubt removed.

Porridge Gun, kindly check whose account this actually is and do the appropriate.
your fucked now
 
#19
Its just a joke guys.

It not like I am hurting anyones feelings. Its not like amputee soldiers are reading this. Unless the can type using the power of the mind. (or they have one of those sticks attatched to the head.)

 

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