As it stands, women make up something like 8% of the Armed Forces (off the top of my head) â but could you imagine how different things would be if it were the other way around? 1. Mess Functions: Starter: Glass of Bucks Fizz Main Course: Nothing, followed by nicking some of blokeâs sat next to her when his arrives Dessert: Chocs (or ice cream following recent spat with bloke) 2. Getting bollocked by female RSM: Bloke: âYou want to see me Maâam?â RSM: âOh itâs nothingâ¦â Bloke: âAre you sure Maâam? I thought Iâd done something wrong?â RSM: âNo, no â¦really, itâs nothingâ Bloke: âReally Maâam, only I was told I was in trouble you see?â RSM: âHonestly, itâs fine, donât worry about it ok?â Bloke: âWell if thatâs everything then, Iâll be on my wayâ¦â RSM: âFineâ Bloke falls out, just about to reach the doorâ¦ RSM mumbles under her breath: âFuggin mess billâs overdueâ¦ you look like a bag of shitâ¦â etc 3. Every bloke takes leave 1 week per month, preferably in far away place. 4. Bedding store: Line up for mattress, blankets, pillows, cushions, smooshies (whatever theyâre called), hot water bottle, bedside candles, PJâs (or ridiculously large T-Shirt otherwise known as ânightieâ), cuddly toy (Sgt Slingsby?), photo frame for other half and bedside book. Can anyone think of a few more? Or am I being a little sexist?