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Are you a Walt.

#1
Look to save time in future will all the wierdo’s and internet trolls just fill out the questionnaire below. Then if you do qualify as a Walt let everyone know. It’ll save the sane one’s amongst us having to wait till you fcuk up with your PERSEC, then spending hours searching E-Bay etc for the evidence required to expose you. Much more amicable all round if you just fess up straight away.


Are you a Walt?

Some questions and answers just to check your Waltability factor. Pick your answers and see what you score.

You have served?

a. 0 days Regular Service.
b. 8 years Regular Service.
c. 335 years under the Colours, man and boy.

You then serve with the TA for?

a. 0 days, even the TA can spot a Walt a mile away.
b. 1 year, until that unfortunate incident with the barbed wire fence and car battery on annual camp. The guys didn’t really mean it, and who needs kids anyway.
c. 335 years reaching the rank of Grand Field Marshal 2nd Class of the Army, being personally responsible for lifting the Siege of Mafeking on 17 May in the Year of our Lord 1900Anno Domini.

On deciding to wear a uniform do you?

a. Join a small county cadet Regt, say Lincs ACF but resign before finishing your Initial Training Course as a Probationary Instructor. Decide the ACF isn’t for you so appear at a local CCF masquerading as an Ex Royal Anglian WO2. (If you had joined the Army you’d make that rank easy in let’s say 12 years.)
b. Join the TA. You really want to be a Regular but mumsie won’t let you. Besides, the pay’s sh1t and you already have a really good job.
c. Walk into the careers office and sign your life away for 22 years. Be subjected to a brief period of getting well and truly beasted, then spend the remaining time being dunk, bored, too cold, too hot, too wet, too dry, scared, p1ssing yourself laughing at the stupidity of the Chain of Command and occasionally poking the Grim Reaper with a really long stick, before running away giggling.

Your preferred form of dress for Remembrance Day parades is?

a. No2 dress with para wings, sniper arm badge and recruiter arm badge, all bought from E-Bay.
b. CS 95/Dessert Combats as you’re staging on/stuck in the sand pit again.
c. Service Dress/No2 Dress as you forgot to put in a leave pass again this year. Oh well it’s no hardship and you actually quite like to acknowledge the shared bond you have with those who also swore the Oath of Allegiance. Unashamedly you are in awe of the supreme sacrifice they made and understand that you aren’t really fit to walk in their shadow even if you wore the same uniform and ate the same dust when the hot metal started flying.

Your preferred collection of medals is?

a. South Atlantic (Falklands), FRY, ISAF, QGJM plus whatever E-Bay are selling this time of year.
b. None, you didn’t join the Women’s Auxiliary Balloon Corp to actually face danger. Matrons nighttime bed baths are enough excitement for you thanks.
c. What ever the Chief Clerk lobbed over the desk at you last time you were in the RAO. Never mind 2 years late is better than never. Now you’ve gotta buy another miniature and if you’re really unlucky pay for the bloody lot mounted. It’s getting fcking expensive since Emperor Tony decided to invade the world. You really wish that someone would teach the Cnut math’s. 96000 doesn’t divide into Bosnia, NI, Iraq, Afghan, Belize, Iran, Lebanon etc, etc…. that well, not when you’re talking about real armies and not Airfix toy soldiers.

Finally you get your kicks bragging about beasting young boys.

wo1slashedpeak said:
When I used to beast the lads I used to say my name and then spell it B.A.S.T.A.R.D. They though it was funny for the first 30 seconds until I also told them that I have had their mummies and their sisters too. That went down well.......
Telling everyone how hard you are.

wo1slashedpeak said:
Well lord hash fart, at least I am useful. Wheras, you are a foul mouthed little oik. Pity you never get around my area. I would love you to tell me that to my face, then I would push your head down your throat. Oh no, I forgot, you have to hide behind a computer screen living out your sad mundane little excuse for a shallow and quite worthless life in which no one really cares anything about you.
But don't forget at all times deny your true nature.

wo1slashedpeak said:
NO DISRESPECT TO ACF, CCF OR ATC OFFICERS, AI's OR WHATEVER, BUT YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY REAL SERVICEMEN. ANYONE WHO THINKS HE IS IS A WALT OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. STOP TAKING IT SO SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(WAIT FOR THE FLACK, TIN HELMETS ON!!!)

Mostly A’s – Congratulations, you are a true Walt amongst Walts. Treat yourself to a promotion to WO1 in a prodigious regiment like the Guards. Pick a user name like WO1Slashedpeak and carry on regardless.

Mostly B’s - The AGC is just the Corp’s for you young man. Travel, excitement, adventure can all be yours. Just remember not to crack your nail varnish or ladder your tights. Keep in mind an extra stick of Channel Lippy No 65 in bright red will never go out of fashion.

Mostly C’s – Poor bustard, you only went and did it didn’t you? Signed your life away, for what? Three square meals a day and as much wife beater as you can physically fit down your grid. For that you have condemned yourself to a life of being an outsider. Always walking in step with a straight back, swinging your arms slightly more than is normal as you walk down the street. A totally fcuked, “alcohol off” switch, not for you the phrase “I’m only having one, work tomorrow.” You laugh at others misfortune and will provide physiatrists much needed dissertation materiel for their degrees in years to come.

Edited as the more I search the Pr1ck called WO1SlashedPeak post's the wierder it gets.
 
#2
Fu.ck it..... I'm a C.

That's better than any pre employment psychometric test I've ever done.
 
#3
I come up as an A+, but only because the Official Secrets Act prevents me from telling my real role in...........
 

chimera

LE
Moderator
#6
C all the way - but mainly as Ops Offr 49 Para......
 
#7
Excellent,WO1 slashpeak is now for the first time in his miserable life aware of what he has amounted too.A WALTS WALT
 
#10
I thought I was the only one who found wo1slashedpeak to be a complete and utter knob! Damn,I hate crowds!
 
#13
I was going to apologise to the Mods for calling wo1slashedalldownhislegsinlightcolouredtrousers a knob yesterday. Now I feel vindicated nay almost exilhirated!
 
#14
APFSDSDU

F1ck meine alte stiefeln, that's good!

PML. The Sh1t In Bulk could take investigation lessons from you.
 
#15
sheldrake said:
APFSDSDU

F1ck meine alte stiefeln, that's good!

PML. The Sh1t In Bulk could take investigation lessons from you.
I ain't that sneaky mate, others did the hard work fiding out about the tits background.

Seriously though someone like that should not be let anywhere near kids.

The Lord Flasheart said:
Thankfully the idiot has been banned from the site.

Being a walt is one thing but walting with kids is a bit more serious. Its calls into question his motives.

If any ACF/CCF/ATC groups come across this guy, I strongly advice notifying the authorities. Any concerned types, pm me for more details.
 
#16
im glad he is banned, Walts are those that cannot even try, finding it easier to wear the kit off ebay.

that feels wrong, especially with kids, there are couple of walts in my county however most are harmless, others have been binned PDQ as we have Paras and other types on our CTT so walting is harder with their radar on :)
 
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