Are we selfish cnuts?

Discussion in 'Army Reserve' started by chemystery, Jun 23, 2007.

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  1. Simple question.....

    Due to the fact that most TA bods are likely to deploy leaving behind, in my case, wife and baby are we selfish cnuts?

    I had the discussion with the wife about deployment, even though it's way off for me as I haven't completed phase1 training yet, and she threw into the mix the selfish argument.
  2. I'd say not....Everyone joins knowing that its a distinct possibility, and hopefully that is then passed onto your partner. If she's happy with you joining, then she has to accept that mobilisation MAY occur.

    And if she wont accept that, let her know that SHE'S being the selfish one....
  3. When I initially signed up to the TA I did discuss all aspects of it with her including deployment so she is aware that it is more than likely going to occur but I'm not sure whether she thought it was a passing phase although I gave no indication of this.

    As I attend drill nights more and more she is coming to terms with it and is becoming more and more supportive although she has not yet committed fully to polishing my boots....a bigger stick me thinks.

    Quite rightly since giving birth she is apprehensive about deployment and the risk of anything happening to me. This was quickly parried aside with the fact that more people have died in car accidents that serving in The Stan during the same time frame. ( I've got Arrse to thank for that stat).
  4. I'd advise you to avoid arguing/ discussing this with your misses in a 'I'm right, you're wrong' type way.

    The bottom line is that military deployment is SERIOUSLY BLOODY HARD on 'significant others', just saying 'yeah love, but I might die in a road accident anyway' doesn't really help.

    You need to discuss how it might impact on her - she's obviously thinking about it herself - and think about how she can cope and you can help her.

    Like it or not, it takes a special woman and a special relationship to survive op tours.
  5. I agree with Mister angry .
    but doing this job (for me any way) is in my blood its more a calling than just some thing i want to do and if not being 'aloud' to go and do the job by the bird/wife i think that can be seen as selfish be her and could build up resentment and trouble if you pull out against your own will for her sake no matter how real her concerns are
  6. And I don't mean the type that just wants an ice cream and a baloon ...
  7. but Mister Angry they are the only one you pull
  8. Your Right..I have done both "Sand pits" and the effect on my wife has been terrible.....she knows its part of what I am and was already in the TA when we need to decide what you want from life...think i have it easy as we have no kids...

    The amount of "Dear Johns" that turn up on tour is unreal....think hard mate!
  9. I would suggest that the woman writing the Dear John is not worth her salt. Either she's some fairweather girlfriend, or seriously in breach of her marriage vows. What happened to "for better or worse"?
  10. Two on the last tour and dumped the kids on them on leave.....both were good lads,one came back out........not good!
  11. Of course you're right about having to have a special woman to support you and both Regs and TA are made up of both married and single people.

    But surely there must be a degree of selfishness on the part of the TA bod as he\she has to put the Army first at times ,rightly or wrongly, and any woman ,supportive or not, must get fcuked off with this.
  12. I would argue that being a stab is one of the most selfless things you can do.

    It's not going to get you a shag, will earn you ridicule from ignorant civvies and a minourity of regular soldiers, definatly not going to make you rich, it will f**k with your career, family and social life, you might even die.
  13. Nah its life that makes us that way.
  14. I'll have you know Mongonella has stood by me through thick and thin,

    or thick and fat to be more honest....