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Are they classed as bikers?

#1
MOPED MAG.jpg

Bunch of these annoying little shits have descended on our neighbour hood, various schemes are being hatched, including decapitation by piano wire strung across the alley they use as a shortcut., or blasts from a jetwash!.

Solutions on a postcard to..........prettypeedorf/vespa.co.ukip
 
#4
Go to your local ACME distributor and buy a couple of gallons of Boron Aluminium Magnesium and spray this on the road where they will be riding. This stuff if the slipperiest substance in the world.
Laugh like a drain as they slide into trees, ditches, each othere, stray OAPs and the like.
 
#8
The good old "sugar in the petrol tank" really fucks up the engines. Another method is to drive next to them and slowly edge them over to the curbstone. That really puts the shits up them because their not fast enough to get away from you.
 
#9
wire at knee high should do it. You might spend a few years at HM pleasure, but hey most of us have done that already. Allegedly you might get SKY in your cell!
 
#10
All ideas are I believe illegal.

However if someone doing a bit of DIY got some old pallets, and you know when you pull them apart to make kindling you always get a few nails standing proud so you cut off those as they don’t burn to well. And if on the way to the recycling plant they fell onto a patch of wet black paint , you pick them up but again butter fingers and they were to fall onto a dark area of an alley well who knows what would happen.
 
#11
All ideas are I believe illegal.

However if someone doing a bit of DIY got some old pallets, and you know when you pull them apart to make kindling you always get a few nails standing proud so you cut off those as they don’t burn to well. And if on the way to the recycling plant they fell onto a patch of wet black paint , you pick them up but again butter fingers and they were to fall onto a dark area of an alley well who knows what would happen.
Are you advocating littering?
 
#12
I'm going old school on this.

A timely, well hefted broad stick, lobbed into the front wheel spokes will give you glee. Some will 'front wheel skid' to a halt. Others will summersalt over the handlebars. Those following will prang into them.

Carnage - in a good way.
 
#15
Go to your local ACME distributor and buy a couple of gallons of Boron Aluminium Magnesium and spray this on the road where they will be riding. This stuff if the slipperiest substance in the world.
Laugh like a drain as they slide into trees, ditches, each othere, stray OAPs and the like.
Right idea wrong application. Spray or drip some onto the brake pads. A little goes a long way. So will the annoying fecks when they try to stop. N.B. It will ruin the pads so if they survive chances are they will try and burn the stuff off with by repeatedly braking with hilarious results.
 
#18
If they have a known circuit, a quantity of used cooking oil accidently spilled on the apex of a fast corner will quite often cause onlooker amusement and the oil could come from any number of non-motor related sources.

Flattened beer cans can have the same effect, planting these like land mines makes for an entertaining game if points are awarded. Two teams competing with points for style of accident caused and accurate placing.

If the bikes are accessible, cheap padlocks through spokes/chains or disc rotors will immobilise them for a while. Be sure not to super glue the ignition key cover, although most moped riders probably stole the wagon in the first place so will be au fait with hot wiring.

And NO they are not classed as bikers.
 

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