Are they classed as bikers?

Discussion in 'Cars, Bikes 'n AFVs' started by revmodes, May 30, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. MOPED MAG.jpg

    Bunch of these annoying little shits have descended on our neighbour hood, various schemes are being hatched, including decapitation by piano wire strung across the alley they use as a shortcut., or blasts from a jetwash!.

    Solutions on a postcard to..........prettypeedorf/
    • Like Like x 4
  2. Shovel in the face.
  3. Yes but backhand, overhead ? be specific we don't want them coming back.
  4. Go to your local ACME distributor and buy a couple of gallons of Boron Aluminium Magnesium and spray this on the road where they will be riding. This stuff if the slipperiest substance in the world.
    Laugh like a drain as they slide into trees, ditches, each othere, stray OAPs and the like.
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Edge-on, at about visor level.
    • Like Like x 4
  6. Lots of marbles under a plywood board in the alley works for me
  7. Are they classed as Humans is a better question.
    • Like Like x 3
  8. fu2

    fu2 LE

    The good old "sugar in the petrol tank" really fucks up the engines. Another method is to drive next to them and slowly edge them over to the curbstone. That really puts the shits up them because their not fast enough to get away from you.
    • Like Like x 3
  9. wire at knee high should do it. You might spend a few years at HM pleasure, but hey most of us have done that already. Allegedly you might get SKY in your cell!
  10. All ideas are I believe illegal.

    However if someone doing a bit of DIY got some old pallets, and you know when you pull them apart to make kindling you always get a few nails standing proud so you cut off those as they don’t burn to well. And if on the way to the recycling plant they fell onto a patch of wet black paint , you pick them up but again butter fingers and they were to fall onto a dark area of an alley well who knows what would happen.
  11. Are you advocating littering?
  12. I'm going old school on this.

    A timely, well hefted broad stick, lobbed into the front wheel spokes will give you glee. Some will 'front wheel skid' to a halt. Others will summersalt over the handlebars. Those following will prang into them.

    Carnage - in a good way.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. DSC00758.jpg
    This is a biker! Not a little prick on a fart in a dustbin.
    • Like Like x 8
  14. BuggerAll

    BuggerAll LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I know it's boring and old fashioned but why not encourage plod to visit at the same time as these little shits?

    They'll be torn between not wanting to bother because it isn't glamorous and the potential to make a few easy tugs and probably crush a few illegal machines.

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Right idea wrong application. Spray or drip some onto the brake pads. A little goes a long way. So will the annoying fecks when they try to stop. N.B. It will ruin the pads so if they survive chances are they will try and burn the stuff off with by repeatedly braking with hilarious results.
    • Like Like x 5