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Are Tankies Crap drivers?

#1
Let me please explain the question with a short story.

Many years ago in the days of the Cold War as a young and very inexperienced Dwarf my sub-unit had occasion to be co-located on exercise with a tank unit in a German wood. This was my first time with tanks and it was all new.
I had to cross a track in the wood which had a low rise followed by a dip so one couldn't see what was coming.
In mid-path I hear...
Rumble.
"What could that be?" asks my youthful inexperience as I pause........(In a wood full of tanks!!!!)
RUMBLE
"I wonder what it is" .................(A TANK FFS)
RUMBLE
At which point my instinct for survival cut in, kneed my youthful inexperience in the groin, and threw me off the road. Just in time to see two scimitars FLY over the rise, the lead one landing on the precise point where I had paused, and disappear round the next bend at speed. The driver blithely unaware that he had come within an instant of leaving a messy Jackson Pollock in the road, and saved himself writing out a report, (with all those long words) and a tedious time of cleaning bits of Dwarf out of his running gear.

As I picked myself up from the deck, amongst expressions like "mad feckers", and "wait till I get my Mum on you" passing through my mind the following question arose and has been with me ever since.

"Do tankies drive their civvy cars like that?"

- Does the armour round them make them feel invulnerable? Do they need special insurance?

Does anyone have an opinion?
 
#2
Mine is. Our insurance rates say so.

He also claims to have an infallible sense of direction due to years of map-reading, blah blah blah...and yet somehow we ended up doing laps around Embankment for two hours one day.
 
C

cloudbuster

Guest
#3
Sorry, I'm not sure you can use 'Scimitar' and 'tank' in the same sentence.

The CVR(T) is nothing more than a Citroen Saxo with bean-tin exhaust and crappy handling package for the DPM-clad.

Effing good fun, though.
 

elovabloke

ADC
Moderator
#4
Dwarf said:
RUMBLE
"I wonder what it is" .................(A TANK FFS)
RUMBLE
At which point my instinct for survival cut in, kneed my youthful inexperience in the groin, and threw me off the road. Just in time to see two scimitars

What has that to do with tanks FFS - any fecker can drive a tonka toy

THIS IS A TANK

 
#5
I stand corrected.
Still can give you a nasty case of track-rash though.
 
#8


"Show consideration for other road users!"

Edited too many times due to imageshack playing up! :evil:
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
#11
insurance ... like 3rd party, fire, theft, friendly fire from A-10s and some ragheaded cnut with an RPG? You can get that package in liverpool (apart from theft coverage obviously)
 
#12
Doom said:
Dont think tankies need to be good drivers....just crush anything in their way......... 8O
What? like one of these.... :roll: :wink:


[align=center]
[/align]
 
#13
snapper said:
Doom said:
Dont think tankies need to be good drivers....just crush anything in their way......... 8O
What? like one of these.... :roll: :wink:


[align=center]
[/align]
Including one of those................................. it's not fuzed :D
 
#15
The little tanks can be stopped by raving homos.

 
#16
I drive okay I suppose. Not hit anything yet. In the car I mean. Let's not talk about the tank.
 
#17
Forks: I'd like you to quote me happy.

Insurance broker: I'd like to as well. What car do you want to insure?

Forks: Renault Clio 1.0

IB: Have you had any accidents in the last 5 years?

Forks: Not in my own cars.

IB: Ah. And in other vehicles that you drive?

Forks: Let's see. Yesterday I took the wing mirror off on the garage door. I bent the door frame a bit as well.

IB: That's not too bad. Anything else?

Forks: Well, last week I drove into a tree at 30mph.

IB: Oh dear. What was the cost of the damage?

Forks: Nobody saw me do it, so I just moved the tree out of the way and carried on.

IB: Yes, but how much damage was caused to your vehicle?

Forks: Well, I scratched the paint a bit, but I can get that for nothing so I just splashed a bit on.

IB: I see. Is that all?

Forks: Let me see.... Two weeks ago I was in town and took the corner a bit sharpish. The back end slid away and knocked a traffic light sideways. It's OK, though, the light was still working and I replaced the cowl that came off, so I just carried on.

IB: And the damage to your vehicle?

Forks: I scraped the paint a bit but.....

IB: .... you can get it free and just slapped a bit on?

Forks: That's right.

IB: Mr Forks. Just how many accidents have you had in this vehicle in the last 12 months?

Forks: That's hard to say. I mean, you lose count when you run out of fingers, don't you.

IB: And how old is this vehicle, and how would you describe it's general condition?

Forks: It's about 15 years old and it's in pristine condition.

IB: Pristine condition?

Forks: Well, yes. It only does about 250 miles per year.

IB: I'm sorry Mr Forks, but we can't insure you. We have a policy of only providing insurance to drivers who reply honestly to our questions. Good Bye.
 
#19
Old habits die hard,
Puttees, as for the dogs with explosives, didn't that backfire due to the fact that they trained with T34s so only went under T34s?
 
#20
FFBox said:
Old habits die hard,
Puttees, as for the dogs with explosives, didn't that backfire due to the fact that they trained with T34s so only went under T34s?
Soviets, nothing surprises me when it comes to them, only problem i see with that is, excuse my total mongness here, didnt the germans T34`s in WW2, but different ones?
 

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