Are people who talk to their pets fubar?

#1
OK, I've got this mate who's got a big fek off parrot. He's trained it to abuse anyone who enters or leaves the room.

When you go in, it asks: What do you want ******!

When anyone leaves, it lift's a wing and says. Go on, **** off!

The latter is ******* hilarious, because two if it's wing feathers extend into the perfect v-sign.

But....... this morning whilst meandering down the Straße, I passes this ******* oink of a fat ******* spotty horror, who was having a proper conversation with her dog.

Does anyone actually believe that....

a) The dog is listening.
b) The dog understands.
c) If the dog was listening or understood... that it would give a flying **** about getting home before it rains.

Wouldn't it be kinder to have the silly fat cnut put down and give the dog to 'Dogs Trust' where you can sponsor a dog and it'll write you a letter each month telling you what a dim **** you are!!!

I feel better now. Time for nap.
 
#5
Of course they are.... I talk to mine all the time! Don't expect a reply and occasionally I swear they understand what I'm saying - kinda like the wife and kids really!
 
#8
I talk to my dog all the time.
It's the only time I get to talk in my house without being interupted or second guessed on what I'm about to say.
 
#9
Pets like to be talked to - now, clearly a cat doesn't understand English but you'd feel even stupider standing there saying "meow mew mew meow meow" than saying "who's a good boy then".

So English it is.
 
#11
Frequently talk to my dog, it's very relaxing and helps me think things through. Plus he gets a few gravy-bones out of the deal so we're both happy.

Only this morning I was asking him whether I ought to use a separation light on some foxgloves I was photographing against a black background. He tilted his head to one side and then gnawed his ******** for a bit, which I took to be a vote for the second light.
 
#13
My dog listens and understands a lot more than my wife will ever be capable of.
 

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Book Reviewer
#14
OK, I've got this mate who's got a big fek off parrot. He's trained it to abuse anyone who enters or leaves the room.

When you go in, it asks: What do you want ******!

When anyone leaves, it lift's a wing and says. Go on, **** off!

The latter is ******* hilarious, because two if it's wing feathers extend into the perfect v-sign.

But....... this morning whilst meandering down the Straße, I passes this ******* oink of a fat ******* spotty horror, who was having a proper conversation with her dog.

Does anyone actually believe that....

a) The dog is listening.
b) The dog understands.
c) If the dog was listening or understood... that it would give a flying **** about getting home before it rains.

Wouldn't it be kinder to have the silly fat cnut put down and give the dog to 'Dogs Trust' where you can sponsor a dog and it'll write you a letter each month telling you what a dim **** you are!!!

I feel better now. Time for nap.

My dog says you are talking claptrap. She understands some words, and certainly understands and reacts to moods. Dogs are far more intelligent than some folk on this site.
 
#15
I used to speak to Squeaky all the time.

He never listened, he'd just put a big silly paw on my head and go "What is that husky dog doing in my house?"
 
#16
My dogs learning Japanese as he mastered French and Arabic easily.
I bet the furry little ****** isn't looking forward to you teaching him greek
 
#17
My dog says you are talking claptrap. She understands some words, and certainly understands and reacts to moods. Dogs are far more intelligent than some folk on this site.
Ferkin hell mate, there are Amoeba more intelligent than some of the folk on Arrse, but let's not tar everyone in Logistics with the same brush eh.
 
#19
I'm not helping him, he gets linguaphone tapes from the library. He uses public transport to go using a day rover.
Hows his throat after learning arabic?
 

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