mate i am with you all the way regular arrsers will know about mrsbbbs plight and the fact that i now have the mother-in-law out in deutschland with us so far 2 weeks could end up years.Its now getting to the point where i don't care if it looks like an accident i will go out in the car and have a head on with a brick wall and her strapped to the bonnet.You sir have my utmost sympathy
I had a particular horror of one, she was the size of a planet with a backside that had more crack than Harlem, a face like a melted Mars Bar and a fully successful charisma bypass.
She used to invite herself down and eat us out of house and home while constantly criticising me in every way, this naturally caused a bit of friction between me and the missus which after a couple of more visits became full blown arguments, during one of these the missus said that I .. "would just have to learn to deal with her"
Fair One .. I went into Planning Mode.
On her next visit I was extra nice, when she made excuses for her waster son who hadnt had a job in years yet while criticising me on only one promotion this year I just smiled, I was actually visualising stabbing the fat bint to death with the broken end of a biro and then cutting her up with a chainsaw and dissolving the evidence in an acid bath, when I wasnt actually picturing it in my mind I was calculating what materials I would need .. but .. I just kept smiling.
I brought her biscuits and INSISTED I make her tea .. I rimmed every single cup she drank from .. one afternoon when she had taken our daughter out I shagged her daughter in both holes, didnt have a shower and when she got back gave her a fresh cup of tea garnished with an extra thorough rimming with the various body fluids from my knob, there were even a few flakes I dissolved in there. I barely contained myself when she took a deep sip from the cup rimmed with her daughters various juices and my manfat and said .. "Well at least you can make a cracking cuppa"
Oh .. and once I cleaned my arse crack with her toothbrush.
Got no probs with my (soon to be ex) mother in law. Its the basteward father in law whos a cnut. Short arsssed bald lil cnunt. Ex feckin crab an all. All ways of disposing of these creatures are being duly noted, thanks.