Are all Women Hypochondriacs or is it Just My One?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Hellmans, Nov 30, 2010.

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  1. Why is it that to a woman a headache is a brain tumour, a spot under the skin is a cancerous lump, pins and needles is MS and they worry sick about them all until they get a Doctor's appointment, then choose to think he is wrong when he tells them they are OK and not due to die just yet?

    I've also just forked out £5 for two packs of NUROFEN from the SPAR because 'own brand' Ibuprofen 'doesn't work' despite containing the same fecking ingrediants and only costing 37p a pack FFS. It's good enough for me though!

    So is it just mine or are they all like it?
     
  2. All of 'em mate. It was only a week or so ago that I got the "Oh my god there's a little bump in my neck I think I've got cancer", followed by the frantic googling of symptoms.

    Must be something in the oestrogen. Or however you spell it.
     
  3. I bet 99% of all medical books are bought by women, the other 1% are shoplifted by them
     
  4. Remember the term hysteria is related to the womb. Men cannot get such problems. The ancient Greek physicians noticed this big difference in mood and could only relate it to the womb.
     
  5. I'd give you a punch in the tits, but Eastenders is on.

    Eeeew, you shop at the Spar.
     
  6. Ive had the same debate a million times. I proved to her that the same active ingredient appeared in the Sainsburys version and she tried to argue they were a different shape! Once I shot that tosh down she then insisted on changing to Nurofen Plus (same drug + codeine) for which their is no generic equivalent as yet. The fact that the codeine is overkill doesn't get through.

    I won the argument over Calgon (£3.95 a pack) and Sainsburys Watersoftener powder (£1.87) but you try persuading her that Andrex doesn't wipe your arse any better than own brand bogroll and you've no chance.
     
  7. I'm lucky enough to have a missus that doesn't whine about being ill. What does grit my shit is that when I do want a couple of tablets cos I've over done the turps there's only empty boxes in the draw. Cue rummaging round in 40+ fucking handbags where all the bubble packs have gone to live.
     
  8. People do get addicted to codeine. As for supermarket and cheap ibuprofen or paracetamol don't waste money on dearer brands. Cough medicine is proven not to do anything and the posh lemon drinks are no better than paracetamol alone.
     
  9. Trans-sane

    Trans-sane LE Book Reviewer

    Plus the fact that codeine in OTC meds probably causes more headaches than it relieves. That and Solpadeine with added caffine. "I've got a migraine. Do you have any Solpadeine?" "Yes. But as you suffer migraines (you are taking prescription meds for it no less...) the caffine will bring on a migraine. We have this version that has NO caffine and is a third of the price." "I'll take the Solpadeine".

    Fucking mongs...
     
  10. I feel your pain, mate.

    Actually it really is beginning to hurt. Have you always had a lump there (yes, just there)? Of course it comes and goes but have you seen a doctor about it? Yes, yes, I know you were getting around to it, but perhaps it’s something serious and the earlier they can look at it the better. I mean, Jesus, what am I, your personal nurse or something? Sort it yourself and see I care. Look, just get some bloody aspirins, X-Factor’s about to start.

    [Legal notice: This female impersonation is only provisional. For a full strop wait for the results to be texted back from her friend or mother after Corrie.]
     
  11. Snakes

    With

    Tits

    I'll rephrase that to fit this thread:

    Hypochondriac

    Snakes

    with

    Tits
     
  12. Corrie isn't on on Tuesdays, stoopid. It's Easties and Holby on a Tuesday.
     
  13. How come every womans ache and pain is the symptoms of some life threatening disease or condition but when we men have something we are accused of either being hungover or just after sympathy? Dont they realise men can be ill too!
     
  14. Her mother went to the quacks a few years ago with a leaky nipple. Doc said best to get it checked out to rule out cancer. Her mother got home and announced she had fucking cancer. I rolled my eyes as I know what she is like, and knew for a fact the doctor does not bloody diagnose cancer at a drop in. Que sad idiot family who just would not join the dots. I regularly wind the Mrs up and say "shouldn't you mother be dead by now?"

    Her nan is also a drama queen. She broke her leg 20 years ago pissed up, and hasn't got off her arrse since, claiming she cannot walk. She got caught standing upright and walking the other week at bingo. It really pissed me off when they phone me to help drag her + wheelchair down the stairs at the Mrs's mother house knowing she can fucking walk.

    To top it off her old man is a convicted pedo, and I have not had a blow job for 6 months! (off the Mrs that is ;-) )
     
  15. I suppose they will say anything to avoid having sex with you lot.