I thought I would do my bit for charity, so settled down with a Tescos take out curry to watch Let's Dance for Sport Relief. I didn't know who was going to be on, or even what the format of the program is. Then Arabella Weir came on dressed as Kylie and rubbed her own legs. Then Kirsten O'Brien did the splits and she only gave birth ten weeks ago. Then I think I've broken my cock.