April Fools

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Blyth_spirit, Apr 3, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Is it just round here or has it been a shite year for April Fools. I haven't even seen April's Soldier Mag to see their offering. Is it just because it was on a Saturday? What have other arrsers been up to, anything worth sharing with the class?
  2. hands up who got it. (hans upoo-gottit) designed a car invisible to speed cameras according to the times, but i havent seen anything else. Apart from the spams naming a submarine after princess Di. Havent heard anything.
  3. I told my mates Son that his cat was dead.

    I said its okay though because it died in its sleep. (It got spanked by a car)

    Didnt have it in me to say april fools as he went out to school. (I know im weak) So we moved it and threw it in a skip!
  4. Is April fools different up north?

    Surely the cat shouldnt be dead for that to work, or was the genius of the piece that it hadnt died in its sleep?

    (in either case I salute your cold callused heart)
  5. It was that it didnt die sleeping but i faltered at the moment of truth as they eyes on the little 10 9 year old turned to piss!
  6. i woke my supervisor at work up at 7am telling him there was a power cut and that he'd need to come up straight away... he wasnt best chuffed when he turned up to try and sort it out, only to find me with a cheesy grin on my face. I think the phrase "fcukin dick" came out a good few times.
  7. I only spent the morning mixing a special extra hot brew of vaseline for the Football Players to use on their chaffing thighs. I know, I'm a sadist
  8. Everyone in Hong Kong Stadium was got with the classic "Look under your seat for an envelope, you might have won a prize!" :roll: There were some suitably choice responses... :D
  9. I told my father-in-law that he was up on paedophilia charges, but with a bit of luck the bowel cancer would get him before he went to court. Oh, by the way, did I mention his heart condition?
  10. I phoned up my old boss in a certain scottish regiment to tell him that they were going to be exempt from amalgamation, would keep their own cap badges etc etc. he only fell for it cos it was 2am and was still drunk. Still, I enjoyed it.
  11. ViroBono

    ViroBono LE Moderator

    I wonder if the non-appearance of MOD's increasingly spin-oriented house magazine is the April Fool gag, although I had thought that the story they ran on how wonderful the Medals Office was could have been an early April Fool attempt.
  12. Veebs - perhaps they should turn over Soldier mag to us....?

  13. Gee Darth, is that a genuine copy :lol: i missed that issue
  14. Best April Fool's Joke I've seen in a long time was in today's paper..

    Seems a " producer/director" in India wants to star Paris Hilton as Mother Theresa in a bio-pic..he claims that they resemble each other [computer analysis showed him they have similar bone structure ]..Paris, of course, besides starring in her " reality TV '" show is the major motion picture phenom featured in House of Wax, where he ' death ' was applauded in many movie houses.. and, of course, an internet star in a privately produced porno flick for ' personal use '..

    No word from the Vatican over this bit of type-casting...

  15. You're a cnut Darth!!!

    Does anyone know how to get tea off laptops?